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The effects of "sugar-free gummie bears" in a compact form
on 27 April 2015
So my girlfriend bought me these as a gag gift for our first christmas together, only remembering to give them to me today. So she claims, I sit here now trying to work out what I did to offend her and what apologie gift I need to buy her to prevent such hell happening again. If anyone has read the comical reviews to "http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Sugar-Free-Gummy-Bears/dp/B008JELLCA" and thought "hey I want to give my lower regions a good punishment like those guys and girls, if only I lived in america" then this is the product for you. The product earns 3 stars as the mints taste good. I ate them. At work. Mistake number one. Mistake number two going for a walk at lunchtime across town from the office with a co-worker. Feeling a rumbling I remember the warnings about sorbitol (which these mints are loaded with) and dare not let loose any air for fear of worse consequence. Where the hell are public toilets in this day and age? Can I blag my way into somewhere?
I make a dash to the local leisure centre who let me nowhere near their toilets. Perhaps because they realise what's to come. My co-worker, bless her, has clearly realised whats coming. Another office of ours is nearby but has security on the door and we have no ID on us. What excuse can we use to get in? It seems my co-workers feminine wiles could get us past any security guard no matter how suspicious we look. I dash to the toilet and by some fluke make it. For details of the effects of sorbitol on the bowls, rectum and toilet bowl, I suggest you read the gummy bear reviews. But medically how is it possible to produce that much? I feel like I've turned myself inside out! I have since unleashed carnage on two other toilets, each now declared biohazard areas by the United Nations. As for my co-worker I can only summise she ran for it when she heard the echos through the marble corridors.