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Customer Review

136 of 140 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Superb, enlightening, book to help you live, 30 Nov. 2002
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This review is from: Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No to Take Control of Your Life (Paperback)
Firstly, although the authors are Christian and have wriiten this book with numerous biblical references, you do not have to be a believer yourself to understand their 'message'. Personal 'boundaries' are as equally relevant to Moslems, Buddhists and so on, as they are to 'non believers like myself.
Many of us were brought up without a clear indication of the concept of boundaries. The nearest I can recall is that my father went to work to earn money which kept us and my mother cooked and kept house. As for children, well, they were to be seen, but not heard! There must have been other 'boundaries' that I was taught, but they are not obvious (even now at 56 years of age). Looking back on my life I can see that had I known of and developed boundaries such as those in this excellant book, my life would have been less 'hassle' and I would have been more easily understood by others.
Drs. Cloud and Townsend are clinical psychologists and their insight and knowledge of human interactions is 'mindblowing'. As an example, many of us who are in conflict with someone often take our grievences to a third party. Sometimes it is for advice, but probably more often than not we hope 'they' will agree that we are 'in the right'. By doing so, we put people in positions that is impossible, probably only with the facts that you wish them to have and the risk is that 'the problem' ropes in others who should not be involved.
However, these Christian authors are quite clear that the best way is to confront people with behaviour that you find difficult to cope with and work out a solution with them. Obvious isn't it? Only though, how many of us tackle problems in such a direct manner? Many Christians have been taught that the 'right way' is to turn the other cheek or show love instead. Therefore, it is immensely refreshing to receive advice from Christian authors that appear more human based and reassuringly effective in many cases, but not always I hasten to add.
They tell us that 'confrontation' helps both parties to 'grow'. All this seems common sense, but how many of us interact with others in the tradional Christian way?
There is so much good advice throughout this book (I particularly liked the 'spiritual laws') that it will be a constant companion to me for the remainder of my life.
Interestingly, this book has generated a respect in me of the Holy Bible that I neve had previously had. Thank you Drs Cloud and Townsend for a really helpful and important work.
I will be a more mature and a less complex character in my dealings with people I come into contact with as a result of your excellant book.
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Showing 1-4 of 4 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 2 May 2009 21:10:01 BDT
Paul Rowden says:
What an informative and well balanced review from Mr Bray, Many thanks

Posted on 28 Jan 2010 20:59:49 GMT
Excellent review - 10/10 - Thanks....

Posted on 9 Aug 2010 19:24:48 BDT
Ms J. Walton says:
Thank you for such a clarifying review...I could resonate very well with some of the things you said and didn't realise I did them as much! Thank you!

Posted on 28 Mar 2013 14:07:09 GMT
Last edited by the author on 28 Mar 2013 14:08:23 GMT
As a believer it's encouraging when God's practical side is well presented by authors such as these, especially when it gives insight into the real God we serve. Secular psychotherapists and psychologists have long proposed treatment that reflects the foothills of biblical Christianity.

For people who are not believers, please do not let 'religion', poor Christian behaviour or lack of understanding distance you from God Himself. That's the enemy's no 1 distraction tactic and I saw tons of it when I walked into church at 35 years old. Read / listen to the Bible for yourself, and try starting in a gospel (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John), in a version that works for you.

Cloud and Townsend's enlightening work is a testimony to their very real and applied Christian faith, as opposed to an achievement in spite of it. If this is the result of their experience with God, how many more blessings are there for us if we go directly to Him starting with the Holy Bible. What have you got lose?
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