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"Megaladon" or Mega Funny?,
This review is from: Shark Attack 3 [DVD] (DVD)
The answer? Who cares! Shark Attack 3 is one the stupidest excuses for a movie ever created - and yet it manages to entertain. What's even more laughable are the constant references to the original 'Jaws', which obviously proved something of a basis. The only difference is that Jaws was produced by a sober production team.
John Barrowman does himself no favors by playing a complete dumbass of a lifeguard whom encounters a shark tooth he's never seen before (he manages to notice how unusual it is, yet he has no experience of shark-anatomy...), and hands the artifact over to a typically good-looking scientist whom sports firm breasts and, to go with the job, absolute dire acting skills. Naturally, the shark tooth relates to species that is apparently instinct. So Barrowman decides to take it out with a measly little hand-gun so the coast is during holiday season.
It's a shame then that a 100ft+ mother shark is also encountered trying to gobble up their boat, only to escape with a ridiculous 'camera' harpooned on to it. And since the authorities still won't close the beach, it's up to Barrowman and his merry team to destroy this beast with a de-commissioned torpedo that makes an Exocet missile look like a paintball gun.
The special effects in this film have absolutely nothing 'special' about them. Almost every scene with a shark in it is take from poor quality library footage, then either slowed down, reversed, or mirrored to make it look different! Even a scene where one of the characters (the script is that bad it doesn't even name most of the characters) is reeling in a Merlin, the footage is that shoddy that you can see grains of dirt, dust, and hairs all over the film. It looks so stupid its impossibly funny, because Gerry Anderson did a better job with Thunderbirds.
Even our megagagaladonana.... shark seems to have a knack for morphing in scale. In one scene, his mouth is big enough to just about eat a life raft, then the next it's big enough so that a submersible only just about fills the corner of its mouth? Don't even mention the eventual explosion of the torpedo - given it's reflected on film as having the power of an A Bomb, John Barrowman had no trouble surviving a mile-radius implosion.
I needn't say anymore. Get your friends round, gather the drinks, and disengage your brain!