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Customer Review

109 of 126 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars It enabled me to have the relationship I so wanted to have with my son, 30 May 2009
This review is from: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (How to Help Your Child) (How to Help Your Child) (Paperback)
I read this book when my son was three. I was being the mother I so did not want to be with him. I was screaming at him, hitting him and being generally horrible. I was out of control did not know what to do. I was confused and anxious. Here was my beautiful baby starting to defy me and I did not know what to do except scream and shout and lash out. I found this book by chance. I read a christmas book list in the Guardian and Susie Orbach recommended it. She said she kept it in her loo and it kept her sane. I knew instantly that I had to go and get this book. It was in 1992 so no internet or Amazon. I searched London and found it in a obscure bookshop mainly full of psycho-therapy books! I went and bought it and devoured it in a cafe, making notes, crying with relieve and knowing that I would now have the skills, hints and tips to deal with my own feelings that were surfacing that I had no idea how to deal with except by blaming my son. The next morning instead of going into to my son and saying - get dressed and insisting on him putting on the clothes I had prepared I said, lovely to see you and offered him a choice of clothes, the same with breakfast, the same with whether he wanted to put on his shoes or his coat first. For the first day in many many months we left the house relaxed and happy. I was in tears as I dropped him off at his nursery and so full of gratitude that I had found this book which was going to save my relationship with my son. My lovely son is now a delightful, happy, talented and inspired young man. What more could I wish for, nothing. It became possible because of these delightful mums who wrote this book. I have given it to many friends, I dont know whether they have gained as much as me, all I know is that it allowed me to be the mother I so wanted to be.
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Showing 1-4 of 4 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 10 Jul 2009, 12:29:47 BST
Hiya Margaret, I've never responded to a review before but yours hit home so much that I felt like I had to thank you for your honesty regarding your relationship with your children. My daughter is 4 and although she is a sweet child she has her moments of intense whining, stubborness, and a complete lack of gratitude which really grates me because when I was growing up my mum couldn't afford to clothe me nicely or take me to new places and after a recent incident of me telling her off for being ungrateful she burst into tears and asked me why I don't love her anymore... I was absolutely heartbroken, and I'm now looking for inspiration on how I can try and handle things differently with her, hence why I'm now buying this book. I was beginning to think I was an absolutely awful mum and I just want to thank you for making me realise that we are only human afterall and that we all make mistakes and could do things better when it comes to our children. Your story is like a little happy ending and I too hope I can raise my daughter to be a delightful, happy, talented and inspired young woman.

Thanks again :)

In reply to an earlier post on 14 Jul 2009, 14:44:39 BST
Dear Heather

I have never before looked at my Amazon entry and today I did and saw you comment. I want to say to you from the bottom of my heart that I so know how you feel and also that you could not have purchased a better book to support you and your daughter to create the kind of relationship that will be life enhacing for you both. Be kind to yourself and know that you do the best you can at any time with the knowledge that you have at that moment. With graditude and love, Margaret x

In reply to an earlier post on 29 Jul 2009, 16:17:54 BST
I would also like to thank you for your review, from I wake up until I go to bed my day is filled with work then I get home and argue for my two boys (aged 3½ and 1½) to firstly eat their dinner which ends up threw on the floor at which point I give off and am totally frustrated. Then after a spot of cartoon watching (so that we have a small bit of mutual enjoyment of each other) we move to bath time which again results in me getting wound up as they throw the water everywhere and do not listen to a word I say. Then bedtime, well that's just a nightmare that normally results in me being in tears!! So I searched for a helpful book today as this cannot go on, I feel like a really hateful parent and I'm sure they don't enjoy me very much either! So once again thank you for your review and I wait in anticipation of my book arriving. Hopefully happier times are on the horizon, thanks, Catherine :)

Posted on 7 Dec 2011, 13:32:15 GMT
Ambi G says:
Dear Margaret,

Im in tears reading your review as Im struggling with my daughter & she's only 2! After reading many many books, taken a triple P parenting course, spoken to numerous health visitors, tried all the advice given to me, I still do not have a healthy relaxed relationship with my beloved daughter. Your review has affected me as it has given me a glimmer of hope. Thank you for reviewing so personally. I will buy the book based on your happy ending.

My fingers are crossed.

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