107 of 123 people found the following review helpful
It's just not that simple,
By A Customer
This review is from: He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys (Paperback)
If I, as a woman, was to say 'All men are the same,' there would be a upcry from men. Yet Greg has sold this book on the basis that he knows what men think as he is a man.
This book takes no account of what stage a relationship is at - if he does not define himself as your boyfriend, he's not that into you - well are we talking about after the first date, third date, third month? He should do all the asking out too, so should be into you even if he hardly knows you.
Thinking 'he's not that into you' is a put down to women. It is saying to me that it's something lacking in the woman. For example he's not that into you if he sees you only when he's drunk. Well clearly it's not good to date a man like this, but not because 'he's not that into you' but because he has a drink problem - put the responsibility where it is deserved.
Also, it does not encourage a woman to take her responsiblity for making the relationship work, you just turn up and he decides if he is into you or not. It does not work like that - relationships take work and commitment from both sides - men and women can wreck promising relationship by being too clingy, too possesive, not having time available, not showing their brillance because of lack of self-esteem, putting up barriers due to past hurt, and infinate number of other reasons. These people are not rare - most people have some baggage, and unless we recognise this in ourselves and our partners, we can go through a string of failing relationships just thinking they all were not into me, instead of looking at the real issues. This may be easier in the short term, but of no benefit in the long-term. It would be interesting to hear from people who used this book to discover that they really were with the right guy.
Finding the right relationship is not just about finding someone who is into you, but finding someone you are into just as much, and a relationship that works on the levels of communication, compatibility etc, and it is the responsibility of both men and women to develop good methods of relating with those we care for.
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Initial post: 24 May 2011, 12:13:27 BST
i completely agree with your review!
Posted on 15 Nov 2011, 21:01:01 GMT
cat girl says:
I can agree about many things that you are saying- that relationship take work and commitment from both sides and that sometimes people put barriers because of their past etc... I read this book like 5 years ago and it was a real eye-opener for me. I realised how easily I get into unhealthy relationships and it helped me getting out of them much faster than I was able to do myself. Now it's 3 years I'm with someone WHO IS INTO ME, we have mooved in together, have a cat and he calls me when promised :) Without this book, I would have probably not been able to see him because I would have had my eyes blinded by someone who is just not worth it...
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