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Customer Review

26 of 34 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Even worse on Blu Ray, 11 Mar. 2011
This review is from: Skyline [Blu-ray] (Blu-ray)
Either this film is the worse film I have ever watched or some joker swapped the original for a version made by a 12 year old.

Let's assume its the correct movie. In short, I wish I had had a severe case of Diarrhoea last night, I would of had more fun racing to the loo every 5 minutes rather than watching this utter rubbish.

Although I don't want to waste too much more of my time up on this tripe, I feel it is my duty to give a more detailed review so you can make your own mind up.

The Start - Well its promising, the strange blue lights shooting down to the ground look good - At this stage I thought we were onto a winner.

The Party - Here The Poo Brothers allow us to focus on the acting skills of the main cast. You will find better acting skills at your local zoo in the ape in closure.

Invasion - Ok, again for the budget, the CGI looked ok, but you're watching the invasion from a afar, in fact on top of the building (where I should add, all of the filming takes place) so you don't really get any sense of fear or what's going on, just 2 guys on a building...oh and they accidently lock the fire escape and can't get off the top, the

The Aliens - Like others, they are a cross between Cloverfield, War of the Worlds, Independence Day and Malcolm who pushes the trolleys at Tesco's - You know you shouldn't approach him, but you need that trolley, same sort of thing but instead of trolleys the Aliens have this Blue Light.

Mid Way - Ok, Wife has gone to sleep by now and I'm left scratching my nuts wondering what's happening on Corrie (which I hate). So, Aliens have taken a couple of the cast and we have met a couple more, it's at this point we are introduces to the Apartment Manager, thank god he has a set of keys for every door in the apartment! This guy is some sort of Rambo wannabe, he talks the talk throughout the film, he's the kind of guy you would consider pushing in front of a train (he dies by the way...SPOLIER ALERT)

The BATTLE - USA, USA, USA, USA, USA - Amazing, they send in all these Drones, about 30+, They don't show you whose controlling them, but they must have a butch of 15 yr old Xbox players hidden away as these Drones are dog fighting, dodging and destroying the Alien crafts, amazing...after all the drones are killed albeit 1 left with the Nuke, he does loop the loops, rolls, gets hit but still managers to release the Nuke...USA, USA, USA, USA...BOOOOM, Down goes the mothership (well one of many motherships).....Thankfully the Nuke is a small one and doesn't quite reach the apartment (yes, they are all still in the apartment)...Rambo is loving this...but WAIT...what's this....The mothership, despite being destroyed in 1000's of pieces, has a trick up its sleeve, It fixes its self like a Huge Terminator 2, all the bits wiggle back together, amazing.

The Roof Top (again) - So 2 people left plus some F22 and Choppers, Chopper tries to rescue the 2 but Alien Ape (yes, they have large Alien like Apes that climb tall buildings....HANG ON...Its Bl00dy King Kong I'm watching...I check the button box, nope I'm still watching Skyline...So King Kong destroyed the Chopper, then an F22 zeros in on Kong and lets loose with its machine gun, amazing, every bullet misses the last 2 humans alive by inches...but hang, what's this the F22 is down, its's going to crash onto the humans..NOOOOOOOOOOO. Now imagine this, Poo Brothers decide to go Slow Mo, F22 bounces (yes bounces) on the roof and over the humans by about 4 inches and crashes into Kong, huge explosion and Kong is dead but Humans Alive! Mothership, obviously upset about Kong's death is now flying over the 2 cast member, Death is a heartbeat away, last 2 humans alive about to be sucked up to certain death, the human race is over...The End

WHAT???? - We are now inside the mothership, the Aliens were taking the humans for their brains, but why?..of course, the brains are cut out of the human and put into the Kong's and other crafts which only come alive with a human brain which must mean the aliens are in fact guy gets his brain put into a Kong, but wait, he still has human feelings and is very annoyed about his new body, he picks up girl (whose pregnant by the way) and starts smashing up stuff, will they escape....we won't know, they decide to end the film here, perhaps a sequel....oh yes please!

Would I recommend this film, Yes, just so that I know I'm not the only Mug out there and others can suffer with me, Bring on my Diarrhoea
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Showing 1-10 of 19 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 13 Mar 2011 09:58:58 GMT
Last edited by the author on 13 Mar 2011 09:59:46 GMT
K. Peck says:
Hi I have just read your review of Skyline a film I debated on purchasing. (I think i will give the film a miss, although it sounded so poor it is almost worth viewing for hilarity factor) I must say that whilst reading your review at work (on a Sunday) your review has just cheered me was an hilarious review...especially the part about the aliens. Oh, and your other review about the toilet brush you comedy gold...please review more makes these boring days at work suddenly enjoyable.

Top award (I wish there was one) for funniest review on Amazon.


In reply to an earlier post on 13 Mar 2011 12:31:28 GMT
Andy says:
[Customers don't think this post adds to the discussion. Show post anyway. Show all unhelpful posts.]

In reply to an earlier post on 14 Mar 2011 16:57:23 GMT
Private says:
Thanks for reading my review Kelly, Im glad my review helped your Sunday pass, unlike this film. Be sure to keep an eye out for my next review - Bloc Sunglasses (Im testing them this weekend)

In reply to an earlier post on 14 Mar 2011 17:02:11 GMT
Private says:
Andy, I did watch the film. Was not my intention to pick faults with it, I really was hoping I would enjoy it. The film is among the worse I have ever watched, in fact I rate Battlefield Earth higher than this and that's saying something. How you rate this film 5 stars is fascinating, did you watch it without the volume on?

Posted on 18 Mar 2011 10:38:23 GMT
Ee Kellegher says:
I saw this film on the pictures and yes, awful!! From the start, I couldn't take it seriously with Turk from Scrubs in it!!

Very entertaining review dude....


Posted on 23 Mar 2011 22:04:27 GMT
Thank you for the very funny review! My god this film was unbelievably bad! Beoynd anything you can imagine as this bad..

Did they actually read through the manuscript before doing this movie?

In reply to an earlier post on 24 Mar 2011 12:32:03 GMT
Private says:
I'm guessing they made it up as they went, so 9/10 for effort on their part - What's even more shocking than this film is that some people liked it? I know we all have different tastes but I hadn't realised that evolution was still catching up on some people!

Posted on 24 Mar 2011 17:19:13 GMT
very funny review, only problem is now I want to watch the dam film to see if it really is that bad...

Posted on 25 Mar 2011 22:15:53 GMT
M.O says:
Why give away the ending of the film in your review? Are you mental?

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Mar 2011 21:21:32 GMT
Private says:
Dear Moron,
Many thanks for taking the time to respond to my review. I had not thought or considered the upset that my review may cause people by unintentionally giving away the ending to this film. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me.
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