Honestly you have sugar plums dancing inside your head. You are reading a DIFFERENT version of Quran, a rather whitewashed version.
The REAL Quran teaches hatred and violence against non-Muslims like Christians and Jews. Quran refers to Christians as pigs and Jews as apes. This is how disgusting Islam is. Don't tell me what Islam is or isn't as I already know Islam inside out. I too know the Quran by memory. I first read it 20 years ago.
When others tell you "Oh Islam is the religion of peace", remember they are playing TAQIYYA and KITMAN on you. Beware of Taqiyya, especially those used by Dawah groups. Taqiyya is a DISHONEST way of winning conversions. I had even it happening over the years. People convert to Islam for variety of reasons, usually for wrong reasons. Some convert for a sense of belonging, but some later drop out of Islam when they become disenchanted.
When Muslims win your conversion, remember they've been DISHONEST with you from the beginning when they have used Taqiyya on you. They are your friends ONLY for your conversion , not for who you are (your conversion to your Dawah-giving "friends" only means scoring extra brownie points in Jannah.) That is the painful truth.
MAJORITY of Muslims are all smiles to your face and sneers behind your back. In other word, they are nice to you, that is, to your face. But in your absence, they laugh at your weaknesses like your gullibility. Unfortunately, most Muslims are two-faced, sanctimonious lot. Very controlling and manipulating as well. Exceptions are far fewer than you think. I am sorry to say so, but it is the truth painfully learned by long experiences. Realise this, most born Muslims look their noses down on your non-Muslim family. Imams and Mullahs all do it too. This was why I rejected Islam. Why would I want so-called friends for only my conversion?
Is it not better to see the REAL people as they are than be years sucked in by all their friendship lies and flatteries? Is it not better to see harsh truth early than to get hurt by broken illusions at a much later stage?
Islam won't really fulfil your inner needs. It won't do anything for you in the long run. As to relationships and marriages in Islam, you will not find honesty in your spouse who will keep using TAQIYYA on you. You will find unconditional love very lacking in your spouse.
Don't be blinded by Taqiyya. Live for the truth, not for illusions.