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Customer Review

on 30 May 2014
We live in hope.

Wystan Hugh Auden harboured the ambition to coin a word that would be accepted into the canon by the Oxford English Dictionary. Alas, his creation - you can look it up - was far too topical and prurient to register with the guardians.

I am a lesser being than the great English poet. Nevertheless there is no reason why I cannot emulate his noble aspiration. I too have a word that I seek to mint: jeggy.

Now jeggy can be a verb, noun or adverb.

Let's start with the verb - to jeggify. It phonetics are pleasant enough. What does it mean? Here are some examples:

"The conductor jeggified Mozart's Prague and E Flat Symphonies." In context, it means (a) to bowdlerise these masterpieces by virtue of brisk efficiency. It can also mean (b) to repudiate metaphysics or overt reverence or (c) to miniaturise a symphonic utterance to the point where it resembles a divertimento.

Next comes the noun - jeggification. It can mean a state of (a) prim self-righteousness or (b) a dynamic where strong emotions are minimised or (c) jauntiness to the exclusion of profundity. So you want an example too? How about this?

"Sir John's jeggifcation of the slow movement of K 543 denuded it of its momento mori, much to the relief of the old buggers in the room."

Let's turn our attention to the adverb. Here is an example:

"The English Baroque Soloists played jeggily." Here, the word in question is a synonym for "scratchily".

What relevance my quest has to the recordings in scope is a mystery. Could they be the sonic equivalent of a pictogram? This is not implausible. It should come as no surprise that the booklet itself has been jeggified. And one could say much the same of Sir John as he glares out coldly at the listener from the two dimensional realm of the front-cover. Why, it could almost be Simla in 1910 and a waiter has just dropped Jeggy's - sorry, Sir John's gin and tonic to the ground. Caruthers - send this man back to the village!

We live in hope.
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