If you've spent all your adult life desperately trying to get your mother's approval, and wearing yourself out trying to achieve her eternally changing levels of perfection, then I'm sure, like me, you have a library full of these kind of self help books. Karyl McBride's book is one of the useful ones - there were loads of examples which rang a bell with me. Like a woman who had made her mother a gift, which got put in the bottom of a drawer, because it 'didn't go' with the decor. One idea I have found a little creepy, is the suggestion that we should buy a doll that represents us as a child, and we 'mother' the doll like we feel we should have been mothered. I can see what she is trying to achieve, I know I was never allowed to be pretty or choose my own clothes or hairstyle while growing up, but that idea sounds a bit artificial. Other books worth getting are Toxic Parents, Stalking the Soul, and When you and your mother can't be friends.