Top critical review
Funny, if short read
15 February 2017
I enjoyed the story, although a little far-fetched but hey, it's fiction. There were a few irritations along the way in the form of missing words, wrong words, grammar mistakes and my biggest bugbear, 'sat' instead of 'sitting' which unfortunately occurred a lot. On many occasions it was confusing to know who was talking as paragraphs just continued on during changes in character narratives.
All that said, this is a short story which made me giggle more than once and one which would benefit a great deal from a look-over by a good editor. The writing is a little stilted and is almost a diary entry style but the humour is there and for a first attempt I would say a valiant effort.