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Customer reviews

2.0 out of 5 stars
23
2.0 out of 5 stars
The Goatman Murders [DVD]
Format: DVD|Change
Price:£3.38+ Free shipping with Amazon Prime


on 23 April 2013
This has got to be one of the lamest horror efforts ever.
I am quite an aficianado of low budget horror. For instance, despite its faults, i appreciate the care and love that went into Harry Novak's "The Child".
I can understand the obstacles that low budget filmmakers have to contend with and as long as its obviously a venture crafted by people with genuine horror sensibilities i can ignore shortcomings.
This however is crass, stupid, ridiculous and put together with people with an eye for a quick buck. People who have no respect or love of the horror genre.
Where to start?
The cretinous and laboured dialogue?
The inherent sound problems? ( The sound engineer should look for alternative work)
The terrible pacing? ( Interminable shots of a bunch of anencephalics ambling about aimlessly in a forest. Interminable shots of an ugly fat bloke's butt as he has sex with his equally unattractive partner).
The hastily rejigged "plot" with half-assed reference to some legend about a goat creature?
The director's juvenile fascination with vomit and excreta?
The film's denouement which involves the most unintentionally comical slaughter of a busload of blind people ever? (Why don't these people MOVE when the carnage begins? They're blind not limbless ffs)
All in all, it's a terribly acted, moronic, stilted and boring pile of faeces.
I was even fast forwarding through the gore scenes, which should tell you all you need to know.
You will not be seeing any of these "actors" again. And i hope we will not be offered any more puerile and senseless junk from this "director" again.
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on 14 October 2013
Dont even bother putting this dvd into your player it is the most s***ty film ive ever seen.Ive just wasted 75 good minutes off my life and do not wish others to go through the same pain.
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on 16 February 2013
Wow, what a load of rubbish.
A 6th form esque style film that could have been made by a bunch of kids with a budget of £2.26.
Don't be fooled by the shiny packaging, or beautifully eloquent write up, inside the box is a film created by a turd.
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on 5 March 2016
Unbearable - there is low budget and then there is this. I really like small low budget horror but this is almost - well completely unwatchable
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on 1 May 2013
Just don't. Even for free - just don't (can't do zero stars or I would have).

Bad weak amateur awfulness
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on 12 April 2013
awful movie really baaaaadlt acted but had me laffing all the way through not worth a night in tho as its pants
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on 29 November 2013
If you are looking for a scary film as well as a comedy, this has to be the best film ever! I bought this film for all my friends and family and they all loved it! Everything in this film looks so real, it might as well be 3D! You feel as though you are in the film yourself. If you dont buy this film you are missing out!For everyone who gave this a bad review, they must of been watching a different film! This film is amazing, you must buy it!!!!
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on 10 June 2013
Brought this from Asda, looked like one of thosE brilliant looking bad horror film, for £3 I thought 'Why not?' Please don't waste your money. The only reason why I kept watching was because 'it couldn't stay that bad all the way through out, could it???' When it got to the school bus, it finally went too far and I wanted to fast forward. Couldn't handle it any more. More soft porn with gore than anything else. STAY FAR AWAY.
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on 13 February 2015
Crap thats all i can say
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on 7 June 2015
Very happy with purchase
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