Top critical review
47 people found this helpful
on 23 June 2013
Where to begin? Well it's a turkey of gargantuan proportions and has been released under three different titles; one is this fiasco, another is called `Red Rose of Normandy' and also just `Normandy'. It is allegedly about Klaus who is a `good Nazi' and a veteran of the Eastern front. He is in love with Klaudia who is a nurse in France. He has a pathetic battle with some very old and overweight Russians and then goes to Normandy to advise Field Marshall Erwin Rommel on how to improve the Atlantic Wall, - yeah right Germany's best tactical genius is going to listen to some Captain.
The Russians apart from being crud at everything also have clean uniforms as do the Germans. There is some sub plot about making an heroic final stand to protect the wounded. The hospital is a tent with six bloke's lieing around with childish bandages on. No-one can act in this; so far as this is a masterclass in bad acting. The tanks look like they were knocked up in someone's shed, they do have some authentic weapons though, but that is a small crumb of comfort in what otherwise is the worst use of screen time since the last time I watched a wedding video.
There is no blood when men get shot or bullet holes and everyone dies the way kids do when they are playing at war. The dialogue is so bad that the `actors' should be applauded just for keeping a straight face whilst delivering it. They also all have rubbish accents, ranging from amnesic actor stumble to east coast American and I am talking about the Germans here. The sound is poor in places meaning you can barely hear the cringe worthy guff they are coming out with, which to be honest is probably a blessing. The camera work is shaky cam and sped up and just plain bad. It lacks any sign of decent direction, or production and could have done with some massive editing. The love interest in Klaudia is stunningly awful, she has what appear to be Botox lips and seems to have eaten a whole lipstick in a school girl attempt to look sexy, but instead ends up as a second rate Miss Piggy look a like.
The music tries to inject some `mood' but just underscores how bad the on screen `action' actually is. The guns do not recoil and the muzzle flashes have been put on after. There is one shot where the Swastika is round the wrong way which is a sign of peace. On D Day the Americans land in two boats and I have seen better action and convincing acting in a low rent porno. The star is Tino Struckman who also directed this steaming chunder. He lists himself as being a self protection expert on his IMDB page and perhaps he should stick to what he knows best, because if he comes across anyone who has paid out to see this abomination, he may need to employ some pretty nifty 'self defence' of his person. Avoid like the singles table at a wedding reception.