Top critical review
12 people found this helpful
needs some work on the content and flow of the story
on 27 April 2014
First the story line has potential. There is humour in the story and the whole "Jay is gay "is a good story line. You also get to read how both sides react when getting all "heated and bothered" romantically but then they remember "Jay is gay" and they have to cool down.
Unfortunately the writing is immature, going from different tenses to different persons. it definitely needs a proofreader and them some. It needs to be all taken up a couple of gears.
Now spoilers - she gets attacked in the bar alley by a drunk person, then she nearly gets attacked and raped by a taxi driver and then she gets drugged and attacked by kyle in a night club and he wants to rape her - all this within 6-7 days.Then Jay was about to be drugged. Too much!! Regarding the taxi driver - that story went nowhere. And if that happened to me - it wouldn't be just swept under the carpet and not mentioned to anyone. I would have had the doctor, the police etc. I would be having nightmares. That Storyline wasn't needed and there was no follow up of result after it.
I did enjoy the story line, but I had to drive myself through the first 1/3 of the book as it didn't read well at all at times. The writing was quite childish and it was like the author pulled on every idea possible and threw them all into the story, whether they made sense to the story line or not.
One of these story lines comes near the end when 2 people are put in prison for murder and attempted murder. This story was just thrown out there. No connection whatsoever and no reasoning behind it!
Please author, read all the reviews you have on this book - they are all telling you the truth. This book needs serious adjusting. And get a proof reader and a good editor. You could then turn something okay into something great.