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3.7 out of 5 stars
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3.7 out of 5 stars
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on 27 April 2014
Mixed opinions

First the story line has potential. There is humour in the story and the whole "Jay is gay "is a good story line. You also get to read how both sides react when getting all "heated and bothered" romantically but then they remember "Jay is gay" and they have to cool down.

Unfortunately the writing is immature, going from different tenses to different persons. it definitely needs a proofreader and them some. It needs to be all taken up a couple of gears.

Now spoilers - she gets attacked in the bar alley by a drunk person, then she nearly gets attacked and raped by a taxi driver and then she gets drugged and attacked by kyle in a night club and he wants to rape her - all this within 6-7 days.Then Jay was about to be drugged. Too much!! Regarding the taxi driver - that story went nowhere. And if that happened to me - it wouldn't be just swept under the carpet and not mentioned to anyone. I would have had the doctor, the police etc. I would be having nightmares. That Storyline wasn't needed and there was no follow up of result after it.

I did enjoy the story line, but I had to drive myself through the first 1/3 of the book as it didn't read well at all at times. The writing was quite childish and it was like the author pulled on every idea possible and threw them all into the story, whether they made sense to the story line or not.

One of these story lines comes near the end when 2 people are put in prison for murder and attempted murder. This story was just thrown out there. No connection whatsoever and no reasoning behind it!

Please author, read all the reviews you have on this book - they are all telling you the truth. This book needs serious adjusting. And get a proof reader and a good editor. You could then turn something okay into something great.
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on 4 March 2013
Looking at the cover and synopsis I was really looking forward to turning page after page of the book....true as it turned out to be as I was relieved once I turned the last page and this grammatical tornado ended...

True I could see the story but I found myself mentally editing due to numerous errors.

NEEDS A HIRED EDITOR
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on 27 March 2013
The storyline seemed interesting and at 99p it sounded like a good buy however, the grammar was atrocious. Also it kept swapping from third to first party, found it very confusing. I read on my commute, about two hours a day, and am always looking for something new but should have left this one on the site. I gather that the author is a New Zealand native and if this is the standard of English they finish their education with they are in trouble. Can't understand how it got any good reviews ??
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on 24 March 2013
I loved the story very much! think Jayden was not as strong as he could have been when Alex was being confronted by Brittiney and others, which of course if frustrating. I would have given it 5* but the gramatical mistakes were quite evident and a great shame that it had not been editered as it should have! BUT having said that lot of books have this problem but a good reader can usually ignore it especially if it has a good story. Would recommend as a light read.
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on 18 May 2014
I'm not sure who is checking and advising this writer but they are not helping her.
The writing in immature as others have commented and what starts out to be a good plot line is ruined by the writers need to place the main female character in impossible situations.
In a nut shell - student has cool friend who is American, under 30 and a multi-millionaire and here is the first 'REALLY??!!' they meet in the student capital of New Zealand Dunedin. I persevered. Friend pretends to be gay so he can use girl as a buffer from his family. Girl agrees to be a fake girlfriend because he will pay for her Dad's heart transplant. WTF??? I know that patients have to pay for the meds but I thought NZ Hospitals were free, and given we have the western worlds lowest donation rate chances of him getting a heart so quickly was a stretched.
Still determined to finish the book. Now she's heading off to New York with what appears to be no instructions on how to travel, dear lord the Main F is a wimp.
Now in New York, gay boyfriend who isn't gay and likes her, sleeping in same bed, yawnnnnnnnnn.
Ok - book finished, no refund on those 2 hours wasted.
The best thing about this book is that its free.
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on 5 July 2014
What an absolute load of rubbish. DO NOT bother to download this book even for free if you have a mental age of more than 13. I downloaded this book for free because of its partial New Zealand setting. I wish I hadn't bothered. I have read many many books and only given up on two because I believe it's worth finishing a book 98% of the time even if the story doesn't really engage you in case you learn a new fact from the book or expand your vocabulary. I learnt nothing from this book and only finished it because I thought it was unfair to review it without reading it all. The story is completely unrealistic. The characters are nonsensical, I got the feeling the writer just wanted to include as many of her favourite names in the book rather then create believable characteristics for the people in the story. Even though parts of the story were set in Dunedin and Queenstown there were very few references that gave the book any Kiwi 'feel'. I give the writer a little credit for effort, there are many worse things she could be doing with her spare time than writing but would suggest she try writing short stories for children that encourage them to use the English language to its full potential so that in future there are less books like hers!
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on 2 May 2014
I liked the book and it has real potential
2 things that really annoyed me were
Everything was explained ad nauseam And the most annoying thing was that they spoke to themselves in their thoughts .... In the third person ????!!! Why
She thought things like ' I Knew that . But what could SHE do? '
Except for that it was a good book. Maybe the heroine too innocent I mean she has to have some brains she is a scientist but she is shown as a teenager almost too absurdly innocent
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on 30 April 2014
It could have been a good story. Oddly written in the present tense but third person. So many references to Jayden being gay and how he should have acted if he really was gay - eg voice not high enough, dress sense. I managed to finish the book but I found so many things irritating that I would not seek out another book by this author. At least it was free.
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on 27 March 2013
Story ok but can not understand how it got published with so many grammatical errors! Did no one proof read it? Completely spoiled it for me - would certainly put me off this author's work for the future
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on 26 April 2014
I had to stop a few chapters in, which rarely happens for me. The synopsis indicates a great potential storyline, but the writing is so stilted and awkward that it is off-putting. Sorry 😞
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