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4.5 out of 5 stars
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4.5 out of 5 stars
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on 24 June 2016
A great funny book.
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on 13 May 2005
I found this book by accident. I read the first page and was in hysterics so had to buy it and leave the shop (before being asked to go). I laughed so much reading it that i had to read it alone so as not to disturb anyone. Haven't enjoyed a book like this since Wilt. Consequently, i have read all the crime series and loved them. I am looking forward to his new books.
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VINE VOICEon 2 February 2012
This is one of my favourite funny books of all time and I still don't think I have ever laughed so much at the opening of any other book. It was just perfect for my sense of humour and I was instantly hooked.

Now I should point out here, anyone from the overly sensitive PC brigade is not going to care for this book. Some might say it's a morally dubious, slightly sick tale. I say, fine, as long as it's funny I really don't care. And this IS funny, very, very funny. And, I would say, quite sweet deep, deep down.

The story follows the diary of eastender Ian whose profession is, you've guessed it, a hit man.

Ian is very good at his job, sometimes a little too good in fact. His proclivity for death dealing is such that he sometimes bumps people off without quite meaning to. Naturally, this is playing havoc with his chances of finding Miss Right, which is Ian's number one quest in life. Only once he's found true love can he finally be happy and complete; but it's hard when, every time you get close to someone, you end up murdering them (not always by choice either).

This is Ian's dilemma and we follow him through various hits, reluctantly taking on a protégée, dealing with the odd bit of gangland warfare, fighting with the ghost of his dead mother and, of course, a number of very short lived relationships.
The world through Ian's eyes is told in an amusingly blunt fashion (although, Ian is a reasonably erudite fellow compared to the characters in King's earlier work "The Burglar Diaries") and nothing is watered down or shielded from the viewer. From his deeply personal worries about the correct dating etiquette, right through to the best way to dispose of a body at sea, Ian's world is laid bare for us to examine and laugh at.

If you like crime books, want a good laugh and you're not easily offended then this could well be the perfect book for you. It's violent, slick, not too long and extremely funny. It's kind of like a pyschotic Adrian Mole, with extra swearing. I urge you to give it a go.

And as it's now in e-book form for an astonishing £1.53, you really cannot go wrong!
Did I mention that it made me laugh a lot?
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on 8 December 2006
You have to read this with your tongue very firmly in your cheek - the way it was written! The first Danny King I have read and it was really good fun to read. Okay the guy is a psycho but what the hell. You really warm to him and emphathise with him to some extent. I loved the unpredicatbility of the book and also the plotting. I all comes together at the end which is what I liked most. The opening scene when he has a night out with an overweight girlfriend is great fun - though not for his victims! A great romp of a read as long as you dont take it all to seriously - these people just do not exist!
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on 6 August 2014
I was recommended this on the basis that I like John Niven. This is no Kill Your Friends. The writing style is a fairly poor imitation of Niven/Easton Ellis, though I wouldn't go so far as to say it is bad. For a cult novel there is no real humour after the first chapter. The main character is fairly dull. The other characters are fairly dull. The plot doesn't twist - it just ends where you'd have expected it to after the first couple of chapters. Not the worst book I've read, but well below average.
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on 26 June 2014
I've read a few Danny King books, they all tend to be about characters you really wouldn't want to meet in the real world but can really enjoy the company of when they're safely on a page. The Hitman Diaries' central character is, you guessed it, A Hitman, he kills indiscriminately, if he's told to or he deems it necessary the person in question is dead. A horrible character trait, and yet Danny King has turned this person into a likeable fella that you really warm too and ultimately hope can sort his (very) messed up life out.

The book is very funny, I read over half of it on a plane and got some funny looks as I laughed out loud, and even at times touching. Not something you'd necessarily expect with a book of this title, but something I have come to expect from Danny King. I enjoy the way the characters talk to each other and the inner monologue and struggles that go on in our anti-hero's head - this is the real strength of the book. The only reason I didn't give the book 5 stars was because I didn't enjoy the action scenes as much as the rest of the book and there are a couple of weighty action sections that I felt dragged a bit, other than that it's a great read and I'll be dipping into another Danny King book very soon.
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on 11 January 2012
This is, out of all of Danny King's books, my absolute favourite. I've read this once a year since I first bought it - back in 2004 - and there are always bits that I've missed. Danny King has a fantastic way with words and has a great line in snappy dialogue, without it coming across as contrived. If you haven't read any of Danny King's books before, go for this one first then work your way through the others.
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on 11 June 2003
A really funny and enjoyable book that i couldn't put down. I became so engrossed in the book that i almost beleived it was ok to just knock people off. When I came back to reality I was desperate to read more of Danny king. I have just finished Bank Robber Diaries (in two days) and am now looking forward to the burglar diaries.
Hurry up Danny with your next book!
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VINE VOICEon 4 December 2003
Working in a bookshop, I see more books than I could ever possibly read. A lot lot of them just go from hand to shelf without much fuss. Now and then though, a book will jump from the box screaming at me to be read. Such was the case with "The Hitman Diaries".
I found it just as I was going to lunch, read the blurb and snuck it upstairs to quickly read the first chapter. I don't think I have ever laughed so much at the opening of any other book. It was just perfect and I was instantly hooked.
Now I should point out here, anyone from the overly sensitive PC brigade is not going to care for this book. Some might say it's a morally dubious, slightly sick tale. I say, fine, as long as it's funny I really don't care. And this IS funny, very, very funny.
That's all you really need to know but here's a quick overview of the plot.
The story follows the diary of eastender Ian whose profession is, you've guessed it, a hit man.
Ian is very good at his job, sometimes a little too good in fact. His proclivity for death dealing is such that he sometimes bumps people off without quite meaning to. Naturally, this is playing havoc with his chances of finding Miss Right, which is Ian's number one quest in life. Only once he's found true love can he finally be happy and complete; but it's hard when, everytime you get close to someone, you end up murdering them (not always by choice either).
This is Ian's dilemma and we follow him through various hits, reluctantly taking on a protegee, dealing with the odd bit of gangland warfare, fighting with the ghost of his dead mother and, of course, a number of very short lived relationships.
The world through Ian's eyes is told in an amusingly blunt fashion (although, Ian is a reasonably erudite fellow compared to the characters in King's earlier work "The Burglar Diaries") and nothing is watered down or shielded from the viewer. From his deeply personal worries about the correct dating etiquette, right through to the best way to dispose of a body at sea, Ian's world is laid bare for us to examine and laugh at.
If you like crime books, want a good laugh and you're not easily offended then this could well be the perfect book for you. It's violent, slick, not too long and extremely funny. It's kind of like a pyschotic Adrian Mole, with extra swearing. I urge you to give it a go.
Did I mention that it made me laugh a lot?
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on 1 March 2013
I had not read any of Danny King's books before this one, and I'm glad that I have now! Good price for the Kindle version.

This is about a hitman called Ian and tells the story of his job, his inability to find a woman to love and also his "apprentice".

I laughed out loud through a lot of it, which is probably very inappropriate considering what the subject is, but i couldn't stop and I know I was getting a lot of strange looks as I read it while on public transport!

The book is well written and even though Ian does get lost in his own head at times, the converstations with his mother are hilarious.

Would definitely recommend this to others and will definitely be buying others by this author.
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