Top critical review
There's never one around when you need one
2 August 2012
Well, I did purchase this item, and I can happily report that it is every bit as sinister as it appears. It is in fact the 21st Century equivalent of the infamous 'Monkey's Paw', that dread talisman that grants wishes at the expense of the owner's happiness. My wish was that Boris Johnson be stuck on a zip wire above Victoria Park. But I was happy once. I was indeed. It seems that at last the authorities have taken note, and the Wenlock Police item has been withdrawn from general sale. Not a moment too soon, but it doesn't help me. I throw it out, but it always comes back to the same place on top of my television. Upon advice, I went to see an old gypsy who is apparently experienced in such matters. She informed me that the only way to get rid of it, and the curse, is to sell it back at the same place I bought it. I have therefore relisted it on Amazon at the bargain price of £2000. If you have bought one recently, and are experiencing an unusual run of bad luck, I encourage you to do the same. But, you know, caveat emptor, and all that.