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4.5 out of 5 stars
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4.5 out of 5 stars
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on 20 May 2017
So far so good. Would certainly recommend
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on 29 July 2013
I wish I bought this book sooner. What an eye opener, I carefully read and remember the whole seven principles, looked back to previous relationships and realised why they crumbled.

Only recently getting close to someone who is worth the efforts, and fingers crossed, no more heartbreaks
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on 26 July 2014
This is the best book on marriage that my wife and I have read. We have been married for 34 years and found lots to discuss together in the book. The great thing about it is that the author demonstrates real insight into the dynamics of marriage and does not come forward with the usual trite answers. We have found the discussion questions and exercises particularly helpful. Thoroughly recommended.
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on 16 May 1999
After watching marriage-advice books catalyze the destruction of my first marriage, I did not think I would find myself reading any more of these books soon. But I heard an interview with Dr Gottman on National Public Radio and I was so impressed that I ran out, bought the book and read it. The thing that makes the book so good is that it is based on rigorous, scientific research (you know, set up an experiment, collect data, look for patterns in the data without inserting your own preconceptions and report it). Although I found that most of Dr. Gottman's findings were not particularly surprising, I still found the book to be extremely useful because out of the many possible things a person could do to improve their marriage, this book tells you which ones really matter. The book also gave me a good sense of the problems that are encountered in happy marriages. For example, about 60% of the conflicts that happily married couples have are unresolvable (perpetual). This fact alone would have helped my first marriage a lot considering all the good will that we burned up trying to solve problems that were not solvable. Dr Gottman found that happy couples accept that these problems are unresolvable and can learn to live with them without damaging their relationship. As an analogy he points out that people with bad elbows can live very rich and rewarding lives as long as they don't make playing tennis a central part of their lives. In summary this is a great book that people who don't like marriage advice books can enjoy (as well as those who do).
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on 2 August 2014
I highly recommend the book, as I found it amazing and full of advice for various relationship situations.
Looking at the title and cover of the book, you may think that they leave to be desired. But they actually hide a very precious content for anyone who wants to invest in their relationship, whether you're at the start or after 20 years of marital life, whether you're welcoming a new child or struggling financially.
The book obviously does not have the magical solution, however it gives lots of useful pointers and suggests multiple tools to maintain a healthy love relationship or to improve your everyday marital life.
And even for those not in relationship, I find the book teaches how to tackle difficult situations generally while remaining a good person.
I highly recommend it.
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on 18 April 1999
This is one of the most useful and interactive books I have read in months. I read it twice: first just turning pages to do the true-false questionnaries to see how "strong" my marriage is and second to really read the book. I was struck by the combination of good insights for the "emotionally intelligent" couples to help make their marriages stronger and the straight-out advice for people who have shaky marriages or who quibble over many things (which for them are not insignificant). This is a must read for everyone who wants the most they can get out of, and put into, their relationship with their spouse as a partner, friend and lover. I suggest you skim this book and read the parts that apply to you. Chapters 8 and 10 are particularly good. Many of the problems described in THE SEVEN PRINCIPLES FOR MAKING MARRIAGE WORK are described as problems that interfere in all relationships in THE 2,000 PERCENT SOLUTION. That book describes the Tradition, Misconception and Communication Stalls that hinder questioning why the way we do things isn't good enough, understanding and trust. These elements are needed to move forward in whatever we do. Read that book too. Take the challenge to improve your marriage. Answer the questions and do the exercised. You will learn a lot about yourself and your spouse. My husband and I have already started.
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on 11 June 2009
Very informative, helpful personally as well as professionally. Everyone could use this book if they are married or thinking of getting married. People spend more time on their car and their physique but not their marriage and fine tuning its engine.
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on 29 March 1999
I don't ordinarily find worthwhile "self-help" non-fiction, but my wife swore that this one would be different. It was! Neither pedantic nor condescendingly oversimplified, this was an easy and actually enjoyable read. The questionnaires are a surprisingly effective complement to the clear, non-intimidating discussions of real-world couples' experience. Although the Seven Principles have a common sense familiarity as one moves through the book, I ultimately concluded that it was not because I was reading about things I already knew, but rather that I was learning things that intuitively made sense based on my own experience. That is always the most powerful and useful awareness to carry away from a book like this. Don't tell my wife, but I'm going to recommend this one to others as well. Kudos to Gottman and Silver.
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on 30 August 1999
The book is based upon scientific research, not oppinion. A VERY positive book. It gave us real hope. Not just another 'feel good' pop-psych book. It takes you inside the conflicts of real couples, and reveals the four marriage-killers, and the seven, very do-able skills to aquire to make a marriage work. I've read a lot of books trying to save my marriage. Some of them had some good things that truely helped. But it wasn't enough help. It never got to the root of the problem, and it left us both feeling like 'we have to completely change ourselves if we want to stay married'. Following the principles outlined in this book is FAR easier and FAR more effective than most other books I've read.
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on 10 April 2013
Very good book that compliments other aspects of how to be as a person in general. I would recommend this book to anyone who are having any kind of problem within their marriage, especially if they are ready to follow advice given.They will end up changing the way they handle most of what life throws at you.
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