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Find me a ninja...
on 9 December 2013
After just completing his training at a ninja school, Django, now an army vet travels to the Phillippines and finds himself battling a land grabber who wants his war-buddy's property.
He must also fight his rival, who is jealous of his moustache and the fact that he is the only Ninja who gets to wear white. But does Kosugi not understand that white gets dirty quickly, and Django will spend forever and a day washing?
To say anything other than this is cheese would be lying. It is cheese of the highest order, but for heavens sake, its so much fun while it lasts.
Nero, I know only from Django and as the random General in Die Hard 2. And while his voice maybe dubbed, he really as no screen presence in this, and looks highly embarrassed, which adds to the charm of the film.
Every Ninja movie begins with a fight with people wearing various colours of pyjama, and there is always one who takes it a little too far and ruins the whole proceedings. Nero qualifies as a Ninja by doing funny stuff with his hands, and goes to meet his friend who looks like a cut price James Caan, who is a drunk and lives with Susan George.
Their land is threatened by a comedy villain and his badly dressed henchman, all the while being supported by some chubby British guy who talks like Jarvis from Iron Man.
It's all silly revenge stuff, Neros face is conveniently covered whenever there is a big fight, but the last twenty minutes is hilarious, with Nero carrying more weapons than humanly possible.
Not to be taken seriously by any means, but if you are a fan of eighties action, this will do nicely.