Top critical review
I've got the key, I've got the secret.
on 27 May 2014
In the near future Tokyo's Police Force are privatised, and then faced with the tall task of bringing to justice an underground faction of crazed murderers named 'Engineers'.
These Shaky Jakes can go berserk at any moment, proving themselves to be extremely dangerous to the general public; and who, if injured, whilst being stopped from attacking said public, can mutate their injured body parts into deadly organo~mechanic weapons of evisceration with which to cause more damage..
Long live the new flesh.
Now, to be fair, it would seem that by and large, the police force are understandably, completely out of their depth, and struggle to deal with this tide of psychopathic mutants, but with more and more of these time bombs surfacing, do even the heavily armed boys in blue even stand a chance?
Well... Errr... No, not really!
Because they have an ace up their sleeve! The ace seemingly being the only cop able to handle these killers. And that cop is Ruka. A lady samurai with a penchant for short skirts, long legs and kicking ***, who just happens to be the finest hunter of Engineers this side of Okinawa.
But with Ruka suffering from the ghosts of her past; and a new, controlled breed of Engineer stalking the streets, will one woman be able to stop herself from self~harming just long enough to solve the case and find salvation, by becoming a one woman mutant massacre squad. . . . . Or will she just get turned into a big slop of offal like everyone else in the cast seems to...
Okay, so this is obviously never gonna be high art from the outset, but is this gaudy J~mix of Robocop, Blade Runner and an abattoir's waste vat, actually any good?
Well, I found this to be a rather hectic, amateurish film.
Packed with endless noise, fountains of claret, dismemberments, strobing colours, eviscerations, and of course, offensive depictions of bloody body horror...
Certainly the gore is pretty cheap, but is also admittedly none stop, which although far too fake and rubbery for my liking, will still no doubt please the gore hound J~brigade it's intended for; with gallons and gallons of fake blood geysering up and down every set, and hitting every fan possible.
Which obviously should be considered as both music to some ears, whilst a chime of concern for others, certainly those slightly squeamish or easily offended viewers, who, if by some miracle, might have actually misunderstood the film's motives from reading it's honest title.
Anyway, the actors sort of manage to keep straight faces throughout the ludicrous plot, which when considering the film's utter ridiculousness is no mean feat. With a minefield of so many silly plot holes, that one begins to wonder about the authenticity of the subtitler's credentials.
The makers, only real way of justifying the OTT content, coming by means of bombarding the audience with sporadic Verhoeven styled commercial satire, in a feeble attempt to make it seem cooler and cleverer than it actually is..
Their biggest other failed endeavours are wasted in trying make Ruka cool and less one dimensional, by giving her a sexy skimpy outfit and an addiction to self harming, brought about by her past, which of course they fail at monumentally ~ with her instead coming across like some ignorant, self obsessed boring arse, with a chip on her shoulder ~ which depending on your opinions of the police force in general, may seem quite realistic, I dunno.
That, and the other major problem being, that the film is also far, far too long, ending at around 1hr 50m. Which I found a bizarre choice by the makers, assuming that they didn't want to desensitise and potentially alienate all viewers attention levels, to the point that their sanguinary shockcase has all just become rather boring and redundant, due to the stretched run time.
Ultimately though, even when given the runtime, events and flaws, if you can channel some sort of demented, adolescent, male monkey power animal into your brain whilst watching it, you might find the constant displays of gore~shed, inventive madness, shock tactics and sheer vulgarity mildly amusing... after all, I did.
But then I stand by the reasoning whereby, any film giving us a deformed hooker, getting cut in half by machine gun fire, only to then transform her front bottom into a giant snapping alligator's head, so she might start chewing up her enemies, has gotta be worth something right? Right?!
If you like Japanese lunacy, body horror or offensive humour, or if indeed you can channel your demented, adolescent, male monkey power animal, I'm sure you'll get along with this just fine. It's trash, but lively trash.
The Uk single disc dvd is pretty much extras free. Subtitled only. And seems to have a minor glitch during the scenes shot in all red lighting. Dunno if anyone else suffered this problem though?