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4.5 out of 5 stars
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on 13 January 2014
I love this book. I read it when I was with the hard decision "to have or not to have", I even had nightmares about it, and reading it made me the big click that "to have" it was just not for me! thank you! :)
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on 22 May 2017
Not as enjoyable as expected. Gets repetitive after a few chapters.
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on 12 January 2016
Brilliant book
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I would hate to have to explain all of the reasons that have collected to form my decision to remain Childfree. Maybe I should just hand out copies of this book... But everyone has a unique life-experience, and a book can only ever go 'so far'. Still, this is an even-handed, well written, often amusing and daringly honest book. We've waited too long for acknowledgement that we Childfree women are not freaks. There are millions of us and at last we are being represented.

A brilliant and much needed antidote to all the Pro-baby naggings so many of us silently and politely endure. Thank you Ms Defago.
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on 10 November 2010
I bought this book after spending most of my 30's in limbo, feeling fed up with the constant questions from friends and family of when am I going to reproduce? I've never wanted kids and even when I told people this it was "oh you'll change your mind" AHHH! I read it cover to cover in one sitting. At the end I felt liberated and relieved that I hadn't caved in to social pressure. This book informed me and reassured me that I wasn't the only one not wishing to have children. It gave me the confidence to say openly to people that I am childfree (as opposed to mumbling an excuse for my "childless" status.) The writer, Nicky Defargo is the same age as me which helped a great deal as most people I know who are my age have children and have found it hard to identify with my decision even though they are now starting to respect it. Luckily my husband feels the same as I do and we continue to enjoy our life, more so now the baby thing is finally off our backs!

My feelings aside though, this is a fantastic book especially for those who really don't know if being a parent is going to be right for them. The book is all about the fact that everyone does have a CHOICE and its about making the right choice, whether it's to have children or not.
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on 11 July 2005
Thank you Nicki Defago for writing this book! I have been thinking about whether or not to have children for sometime now and reading this book has clarified my feelings on the matter.
Having children is a lifelong commitment and everyone should read this book so that they can make an informed decision. A childfree life offers many benefits such as freedom to travel, meet friends for a drink or simply just to spend time reading a book.
Whether or not you decide to have children is an entirely personal decision. But it is really important to remember that you do have a choice and you should be proud of whatever you choose to do.
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on 12 February 2009
At 51 years of age I can safely say I have never wanted children. I have always known this and never regretted it for an instant. I have had a productive life caring for psychiatric patients. I have also given to charities in so many ways. The suggestion that people who chose not to have children are selfish is wrong in that some of the most selfish people I know are in fact parents!

I read Nicki Defago's book several years ago and found it applied to me in many ways. Some women of my generation still seem to need to pity me for my choice in life, but many younger women now understand that having a child is indeed a choice. My husband and I live happy lives with plenty of company.
I now know a number of women who are having deep emotional problems with their early adult children. It has been estimated that up to eighty percent of those admitted to mental hospitals are there because of dysfunction in the families they grew up in. A child is a complex and emotional being, anyone can have children but being a good parent takes skills which if we were not expertly brought up ourselves will carry over onto the next generation.
To be child free is a wonderful thing if it is right for you. This book shows you the many positive aspects to the decision to not have children. It acted as a reminder to me of why I made that choice.
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on 12 June 2005
I've never written a review before, but I just had to for this book. It is brilliant! Like the author, I have searched for books on 'making your mind up' only to be faced with hundreds on pregnancy and nothing on how the hell to make such an important decision in the first place. This book fills this gap brilliantly. The tone is warm and engaging, it's extremely well and intelligently written. It's not about telling you NOT to have children, it's about CHOICE, and when you think of parenthood like that, it's hugely enlightening.
This book deals humourously with the comments childfree people get (you're selfish, you'll change your mind etc etc - all of which I've had to bat away in annoyance) and challenges the stigma attached to the choice to remain CF. And it is a stigma - I chose not to read it on the train because I thought I'd get funny or pitying looks and people would assume I was either infertile (and trying to look on the bright side), or a hard faced child-hater (which I'm absolutely not). But I wish I had read it on the train, just to stick two fingers up at everyone and say, look you DO have a choice!
Anyone thinking about having a baby (as well as those of us who simply aren't bothered) should read it. It's too important a decision not to look at both sides of the story.
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on 6 November 2010
After making the decision to live life as a family of two, it's so refreshing to read that so many other people think in the same way, and that life isn't just full of those that think having children is the ultimate goal in life (many of which find that it's not all they expected, but have to wave goodbye to 20 years of their own life) Of course nobody but the most honest will admit it.
There's no wrong or right decision, just different opinions. So fantastic to hear the other side of the story for once...
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on 2 April 2007
For a long time I have known I didn't want children. Anytime I (as a young woman in my mid 20s) had expressed this to others I was met with, at best, confusion and usually scorn. This book put into words how I feel about my life as I choose it, it helped equip me with answers to give those who question my decisions. I knew I didn't want children, not because I was selfish but because I believed I had as much a right to choice as a mother. Reading this also made me fell less weird, knowing there are other women out there with similar outlooks.

Thanks Nicky, for a refreshing, insightful and honest analysis of one of the remaining taboos in our society.
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