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on 9 November 2013
A mature Christian wil not appreciate this book as it twists Scriptures. This is more a philosophy of the author than an accurate Christian guide to marriage. It could also result in a wife being abused. The Pearls advise wives to stay with husbands who sexually abuse their children (although the Bible allows for divorce in case of adultery, which child molestation would be). They advocate that kids also go to the jail to visit the father who sexually abused them, despite what this would do to the child's psyche.
The book also advises women to stay with men who beat them.

The Bible is twisted to fit the Pearls' philosophy, and Scriptures are just pulled from the Bible and randomly inserted in the book so it appears to be a "Christian" book. I would recommend a different book.
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on 19 November 2013
She's married to the author of "To Train Up a Child". In fact, I believe she's co-author.

They advocate beating children, depriving them of shelter, warmth and food in that book.

You might not want to rely too heavily on her "Christianity" - it is suspect, at best. And, at worst, purely evil.
What can be more evil than spanking a 6-month old child? Beware, beware, beware.
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on 24 November 2013
Sorry, but much of this book is rooted in the culture of the Bronze age. It is anti-feminist and repressive, and has no place in the modern world.
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on 30 July 2014
This book is sickening! Please read Rachel
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on 21 September 2009
I wanted to give this book two scores - One for those already in a happy marriage, in which case this book is entertaining and has some interesting ideas in how to stay married and overlook his faults (very thought-provoking). The other score (zero) for those in unhappy and abusive marriages. If you are in the latter group this book will make you feel terrible (especially if your self-esteem is already low) and you will feel like a failure for not being able to live up to the expectations laid out in this book. Instead I'd recommend The Gaslight Effect by Robyn Stern for really helpful information into which type of (emotional) abuser you are with and what to do to stop it. Debi Pearl describes three types of men (Commander, Visionary and Steady) without the evidence as to where this came from? It seems very familiar and perhaps referenced from Please Understand Me II (David Keirsey)? Keirsey describes in much more detail the four Myers Briggs personality types (Stabiliser SJ, Visionary NT, Catalyst NF and Negotiator SP) and their need for Helpmate, Mindmate, Soulmate and Playmate respectively.
Debi Pearl has many assumptions in this book e.g. men cant think for themselves; women are more powerful at influencing men than vice versa; your husband is Gods way of making you into the person He wants you to be. So overall, I would not recommend this book. If you want a good biblical book for wives read instead 'Captivating' by Stasi Eldredge. Her husband John has written one for men too (Wild at Heart).
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on 7 November 2013
I was extremely dissapointed with this book. The title is a big fat lie. There are no instructions within on how to actually communicate with god. What is the point of communication if there is no real dialogue? I might as well be talking to myself. Surely if god wants me to be happy in my marriage then he would guide me himself, I would not need a book to tell me how to communicate with the lord. This book is a sham and is obviously written by a hell-bound atheist trying to make money off poor christians like us. Take my advice. If you are happy with your marriage then don't change anything. If you are unhappy then you have two options, change the dynamic of the relationship, make compromises or, the second option, is to separate. There is nothing shameful with admitting that you've been mistaken with your choice of partner.
Peace x
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on 7 May 2011
this is a radical and very challenging book which goes to the root of why things don;t work in ' modern' marriage arrangements.. quite difficult somehow though to adapt this fully in a non american environment..
but i think its worth a try making some changes to one's life.. and the proof will be in the pudding so to speak..(:
highly recommended for all wives that are struggling or wanting a fresh perspective on things...
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on 12 June 2007
Although I am not in agreement with some of the Pearls' ministry [particuarly concerning their methods of disciplining children], I found "Created to be his help meet" a breath of fresh air- setting the [high] biblical standard for wives in marriage.

Considering myself a good "help meet" already,and also having read numerous Christian womanhood & marriage books,I was not expecting to find a lot of new information from this book, only to reinforce and encourage my beliefs and convictions. However, I was really shocked.

This book is so comprehensive,scriptually sound,and an accurate presentation of what God intended for women, it could be deemed a "marriage manual". No doubt, this book has and will continue to help me immensely and will stay with me forever.

Debi pulls no punches,and is very direct and witty in her style of writing. She does not bombard with instructions, but has a healthy balance of KJV-only scriptures [+ explanations of them],letters from wives-letter replies from Debi,stories about Debi's experiences in her marriage, pratical suggestions and wisdom.

Personally, what I found useful was the summary section at the end of each chapter that could easily be read in 1 minute, and therefore provided a daily reminder as we are caught up in everyday life and do not have the time to read whole chapters.

Additionally, the book is delightfully designed. Quality paper,with a feminine font and illustrations.

In short, this book is really invalueable to the woman seeking to live the authentic and traditional Christian marriage much forgotten about in most modern-day feministic Churches. It would also make a great gift for a new bride, too.
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on 3 January 2011
I agree with Pearl's premise: Western culture is experiencing a break down of the family that has been brought about, in part, by aggressive third wave feminism (the Feminazis!). Generally Westerners have little idea of the uniquenesses of a man/husband as opposed to a woman/wife. This gender/role confusion has resulted in angry children who contribute to society's ills in other numerous ways.

The problem I find with Pearl's book is that she overstates her case and thus undermines her cause. In focusing too much on beating her opponents (the Feminazis) she has become a "Talibabe". I find her theology unbalanced in places. The title gives it away. Though a wife is to be her husbands "Help Meet", woman was not created first and foremost for that purpose. If so, Christian single woman, (singleness is celebrated in the New Testament) would be experiencing a drastically inferior quality of life. She also undermines the importance of godly friendships between women by hinting that the husband/wife relationship can meet all one's social needs. (She does not say this directly, but implies it in places.) Scripture maintains that a wife's life and ministry is made of up of home building and child raising but it is also more than that (see Prov 31). In reacting to the numerous nut job Feminazis in wider society she has swung to another extreme and lost Biblical balance. Thought there is much good practical advice in the book and I agree with much of what she says, but she makes some extreme statements in places.

Another book which retains a greater Biblical balance is Nancy Wilson's, "The Fruit of her Hands". I would recommend this to any girl/woman over the age of 15. It has two positive reviews on the Amazon UK website.

(PS, My wife also read these books and helped me write this one!)
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on 3 March 2016
A very good and challenging book backed up by scripture to help you as a wife and mother.
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