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on 10 October 2017
In therapeutic terms the book is accurate and a tremendous resource for women addicted to men who don't love them. However. In spiritual terms. The book is useless. Having an intense love for someone is a spiritual feeling. HOWEVER, it is not all that it seems. It shows us up to help us heal wounds that reside in us. Only by bringing these feelings into awareness (sometimes through the mirage of 'love') can we begin to change our automatic addiction.

I had a problem that dominated my entire adult life. Namely that I was attracted to men that allowed me to right the wrong my absent father had done to me. I knew this from the age of 17. Yet I wasn't able to stop recreating the same situation until I was 31. I would fall hopelessly in love with the man who showed me I wasn't good enough. And wonder why all the nice guys chased me. And why I wasn't interested in them.

Meditation ultimately illuminated me as a four-year-old child waiting for my father to pick me up and showed me I had been waiting for all my relationships to 'pick me up'. Unsurprisingly that never came. All I received was pain, suffering and desire. I had to label the last addiction as 'I do not deserve love' in my phone. And every time he called I would say to myself 'I do deserve love'. I blocked him on every platform, lost friends through our acquaintances and went to the police for a restraining order. At that point I had been in turmoil with him (daily crying, his favourite thing was to say he loved me, and not return my calls for weeks - again and again and again). Still I desired him! He did exactly what my father did. The last guy was the worse. Many years after I escaped and started recovery. I forced myself into a relationship with a man I wasn't initially attracted to because initially I was scared I would go for the same absent father guy again and the distraction I thought would prevent me. Frankly, I was at breaking point and desperate to stop hurting myself. Over two years I began to see the nice guy differently each day. He grew more attractive and nicer with each day I stopped wanting pain. Still that desire for pain was so strong in me. It was only a total reordering of my life when I gave it up. New career. New friends. New hobbies. And importantly a meditation practice that helped me see and recover from my addiction to painful romantic relationships with men.

I also found the science behind my addiction beneficial to learn about in a book called 'Why you love a guy who doesn't love you. And how to stop'. Recommended reading if you are a woman, addicted to love. Like I was and NEED the science as to what is happening to you.

I have been happily married for years now. And when I hear friends describe what I suffered for my twenties I tell them to read this book and go to a Vipassana meditation retreat. The book is written for other therapists and provides little in the way of clear guidance for how to change your behaviour. Through meditation you gain awareness. And in awareness you can let go of even the strongest patterns. I wish you total recovery. We all deserve to be loved.
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on 2 March 2017
Such a brilliant book that was recommended by a Counsellor. Brings up some difficult issues as to why we do and repeat behaviors and difficult to read in that way at times,but well worth it as has really help me to recognise why i have always gone for certain types of men. Will keep such for reference purposes definitely.
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on 1 November 2017
I began reading this as book research for a character I'm creating but ended up finding so much within these pages for myself, it was staggering. I think there's something for every woman, and a few highly sensitive men I suspect, within these pages. I don't think this is solely a female issue, I do know a couple of men who love too much. But all in all, an important and enlightening read. I'm more glad I picked this up than I thought I would be. I'll be buying a paperback for my daughter.
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on 28 April 2017
Excellent book and helped me to understand why I have 3 failed marriages and several other failed relationships! Take what is relevant to you and leave the rest. Would recommend Robin Norwoods other books as well.
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on 27 March 2017
This book has made me realise so much about myself, the kind of person I have become, why and how I can alter the parts of my life and myself that I am unhappy with. It gives such a good insight as to why I feel the way I do about the wrong kind of people, and why I'm drawn to the wrong kind of person. Thanks so much!
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on 14 April 2017
Bought this book on a recommendation. Found it very powerful. It definitely has changed the way, I view myself and future partners. After recommending to a friend this book has now also changed her life dramatically. If you are reading this book I'm pretty sure you will relate to at least one or more of Robins clients.
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on 7 October 2017
Thought provoking book. Every woman should read it!
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on 29 May 2017
Wow! What an eye opener. I have learned so much about myself. I would definitely read again, and can highly recommend.
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on 22 May 2017
Bought the older edition in 1990 (I think) and it help me cope with my bad marriage. I have just bought this new edition for my 24years old daughter which I hope would help her understand about her unhappy relationship. Highly recommend this book.
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on 17 March 2017
Still readung. It helps me understand a lot.
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