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on 6 December 2011
Usually I pride myself in finding the weak spots in an argumentation quite fast. The most obvious blunder in this book took 40 pages of reading. It's quite amusing actually, if you're confident with your own sexuality and don't take the "male" and "female" "archetypes" too seriously (what's that anyway?).
Most of the time this book describes the juggle to defame why the author thinks homosexuality is not genetically caused - and his sources are remarkably old - I guess there are newer, scientifically better ones than those of 1933? Apart from the fact that I see no point in "treating" homosexuality, even if it were a choice, he then proceeds to again produce his view of sexuality as not only a "sexual disorder", but a more complex "neurosis" - meaning, even he secretly admits that a monocausation is quite improbable.
I'm not done reading yet, but so far the author has made no point, WHY one should treat homosexuality, he mostly makes a point, which of his counterarguments are not right in his opinion and why.

If you did not read the above, please read this: (Mostly non-"straight") People struggling with you're own sexuality: don't read this book, it's pure evangelical homophobic poison, though deceptively harmless and at times benevolently written - very very dangerous. I would have definitely fallen for that trap and taken a lot of time to lose the self-hatred this book certainly provokes and nurtures.
Parents, friends, family,.. consellours, therapists, priests,... and the like, who want to help someone close to them through this struggle: You don't need any books on this topic; this person needs your unconditional LOVE, no matter what. That's most probably all support your companion needs.
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on 20 August 2002
Gerard Van den Aardweg is well known as one of the few and last psichologist who still supports the idea that homosexual orientation is in itself pathological. At misleading works like this, one must remember a few simple facts: 1)In 1973 -28 years ago!- the APA retired homosexuality from the list of mental illnesses. 2) there are DOZENS of studies that prove that there's no more connection between homosexuality and psychopathology than in the case of heterosexuality -for a good review on this, see J.Gonsiorek: "Homosexuality, research implications for public policy"- 3)there are many healthy happy homosexuals... and many unhealthy unhappy heterosexuals.
Nevertheless, it seems that books like this do have an appeal. One reads them and says to oneself: "hey, that happened to me!". That's why I think we must look at the possible reasons for this fact.
We could find many, but I will just indicate two: 1.- He selects common bad experiences from childhood, relates them directly to homosexuality, and implies that these bad experiences are exclusive of homosexuality, three things must be said about this: a)these experiences are extremely common, and we could find them also in heterosexual people (how many of us, gay and straight, complain that our mother was too present. In a world where traditionally the mother spends more time with her offspring, it is not at all surprising). b) it`s a well-known fact that we are uncounciously influenced by current points of view when remembering our childhood. In a world in which we have been repeatedly told the classical theory about the origin of homosexuality, who can be surprised at this theory distorting our reminiscences in such a way that they conform to the theory? c) Even if there were some truth in this theory, Van den Aardweg silences the fact that heterosexuals may have different conflicts within the family. These conflicts are also conflictive (sorry for the repetition), what makes them "better" to the "homosexual conflicts".
2)More important: Van den Aardweg takes for granted that heterosexuality is better than homosexuality. Well, one may object: if (as he hasn't recognized) both heterosexuals and homosexuals come from a childhood in which they have had to cope with conflicts, if all our personality traits come from resolving conflicts (this is the touchstone of psychoanalysis), Why then, is the "heterosexual solution" of the conflict better than the "homosexual" one?. I dare to state this: both "solutions" to the conflict have the same potential to help have a happy or unhappy life. The problem, then, lies in an anthropological presupposition that states that the height of human sexuality is the man-woman couple. This presupposition is philosophical, and deserves philosophical critic. I won't do this, just I'll say that I have good reasons for saying that the height of human sexuality is to love and be loved, whatever the genders of the people involved.
Some gays have said here they had found grief in their lives. We all have unhealed wounds, this is common to all human beings, this is not exclusive for gays. And I insist: we can be happy, healthy and gay.
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on 25 February 1999
Van dem Aardweg clearly explains (with substantial documentation of scientific literature) that no genetic factors determine a person's sexual orientation. On the contrary, such individuals developed such a neurosis from feeling isolated from their male peers as adolescents (either because they were not good in sports or the like) and then developing a chronic attitude of feeling sorry for oneself. In addition, van dem Aardweg explains in no uncertain terms the self-serving motives of the Gay Lobbiests, the unscientific studies which they promote, and the damage that they cause. The author also analyzes the reasons for the backsliding of many homosexuals who attempt to cure their homosexuality through Christianity. A truly profound book which bears reading and rereading.
Having struggled with homosexual thoughts for many years, I noticed a review of this book on the NARTH Web site last year. After internalizing the contents of this book and finding a psychologist (recommended by NARTH) with whom I explored this subject matter, my ulcers dissappeared, my depression dissipated, and I am more satisfied with my life than ever before.
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on 2 July 2003
When I first discovered reparative therapy (an experimental way of changing from homosexuality to heterosexuality) this was the first book I bought, and several books later, this is still the best.
It's easy to understand.
It's quite fun to read.
It gets to the point.
It's especially for self-therapy.
And it's effective.
This book has really helped me a lot. By following its contents I found that I made rapid progress and my new heterosexuality appeared quite quickly! It includes a few self-examinations (including a questionnaire). After reading about how one develops homosexuality, it's like having your eyes opened. It all becomes so OBVIOUS you feel a bit stupid that you didn't see it before.
It's just a shame that some hypocritical people who preach "tolerance" will try to dictate how others should live. They simply refuse to accept that human sexuality is flexible, and will deny others their human right to live how they choose. You can be who you want to be! Don't let ANYONE stop you from pursuing Reparative Therapy. It's your life - do what YOU want with it!
This book is great. It helped me enormously. Human sexuality is *not* set in stone!
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on 2 January 2005
I can't say how much a relief it is to read this book. It's given me insights that I had in fragments, but couldn't seem to fit together in a meaningful way. It suddenly seems to make perfect sense of everything you've ever experienced, if you're going through what the author is writing about.
It basically explains that the homosexual condition is one of neurosis, a kind of hung over permanent state of infantalism. Of being a child in a Man's body (hence the narcissism of gay culture, the loud clothing, the attention seeking behaviour, etc, the attraction to excessive drink and drugs, ie. forms of thrill seeking and pleasure). The author's message is that the reader basically needs to grow up. After all, it makes perfect sense that your sexual feelings are outward reflections of deeper issues relating to your identity as a person overall, and what you feel your place in the world to be, not the other way round. And I can only say, I emphatically agree.
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on 19 April 1999
In '68 I read the book 'psychotherapy and genesis of the neurosis' from the Dutch psychiatrist J.L. Arndt (died in1968). It changed my life: it taught me how to become a more mature and warm person and to leave my traumatic youth behind. One of the side effects was that I became heterosexual which was not intended. I was active in the gay liberation in Amsterdam and I still welcome most of their issues. I would advise you: read this book, it has no own ideas but this man Van den Aardweg understands the theory of Arndt who by the way says in his books that homosexuality only is a neurosis in our culture and not by definition. But keep in mind: Van den Aardweg is an extreme right wing catholic, associated with Opus Dei and one of that kind of people who claim to be 'true believers'. He is mostly responsible for the fact that the Dutch psychiatrist Arndt didn't get the attention he deserved. Be glad to be gay, but be it in a mature way. This book can help you, and you will see that you also will have very strong heterosexual feelings like I experienced. The book is good, but the author is wrong. Maastricht, Holland.
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on 19 February 1999
It seems that most critisism against homosexuality comes from the Christian corner of society. Therefore it is especially sad that someone who has a "Ph.D." in his title is hiding his true religious prejudice before a mask of science. There is no cure for it, because it is not a disorder - any Christian who personally knows gays or lesbians AND uses his brain to think about it recognizes that. Please don't buy this book ! It is a threat to young gay people who are still unsure about their own being homosexual. By the way: To be gay and to believe in God is no contradiction. I live with it very well and thousands of other gays too - just think of all the homosexual priests ! Jesus is fun, but love, too.
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on 21 November 2006
I've just read this book and have found it informative and easily read. The author has a great insight into the homosexual condition and for someone like myself who is watching the drama of a relative entering the gay scene this book has been a fantastic and informative read. I can honestly say that as I read the issues discussed they are the very issues that I see before my very eyes. I came to this difficult event with little understanding but now can see beyond the confusion of a false reality to the truth that essentially the condition is reversible if change is desired. The book also challenges the idea that its simply what your parents do that cause you to chose a different sexuality. The peer group exclusion is a key element. For those who have read the previous reviews that quote scientific data and its conflicting indications a visit to the NARTH web site will prove enlightening.
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on 22 December 1998
This book provides real practical help to those who are unhappy with their homosexual desires. The first part is the theory of homosexuality (which boils down to the fact that it is a neurosis involving a gender inferiority complex, coupled with a strong tendency to self-pity), the second gives many practical suggestions about how to overcome unwanted homosexual impulses. A reader whose conscience tells him that homosexuality is not for him will find moral support and help, rather than simply being told that he has to accept himself the way he is and there is nothing he can do about it. It is written for Christians and certain references to spiritual matters might irritate some readers. Doubtless this book will have its critics, but the suggestions it gives work. This reader knows from experience.
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on 22 June 1998
Unashamedly politically uncorrect! The writer presents the hard facts of what underlies homosexuality for many. Those wanting a way out of homosexuality are much neglected minority. Through many years of helping those who want change this author has distilled the behaviours and attitudes that need to be surrendered for real change to occur. The style is not lively but the message is clear, if not easy to achieve!
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