Top critical review
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the stuff of nightmares for all the wrong reasons
on 26 February 2014
It's crap. Let's get that up there straight away. It's hackneyed, clunking, drivel. Badly acted by two bottom feeders of the entertainment world clearly aiming for a big time they're neither fit for nor deserve, and a bunch of starstruck students. It does, to be fair contain one genuine terror and laugh; the female lead, a woman old enough to play most of the other performers' mother with acting skills to match, gets her bosoms out on screen. Please don't turn around quickly madam you'll have someone's eye out.
Other than that the script seems intent on bludgeoning the viewer into submission; piling on cliche and ham fisted innuendo in a spirit of more is more which might, just, have carried in the presence of charm and wit. Sadly this film possesses neither. It's an unfunny nightmare, the very worst kind of home movie. A self indulgent pile of toe curling ineptitude which demonstrates with brutal, remorseless clarity why you and the world have never heard of the Kempthornes and why, please God, you will never hear of them again.
It's very, very interesting that the only other reviews are from one person who's given it one star (clearly someone unfortunate enough to have seen it) and a bunch of people all giving it 5 stars. All 5? No 4s or 3s? A film gets so many 5s yet is 130,000th in the Amazon sales list? Not suspicious at all :)