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3.3 out of 5 stars
3.3 out of 5 stars
Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus [DVD] [2009]
Format: DVD|Change
Price:£3.38+ Free shipping with Amazon Prime

on 5 June 2013
The title should say, "Don't expect much." I expected a bad script, bad acting, bad science, and bad special effects. In that regard I wasn't disappointed. If you decide to turn it off after a giant shark jumps out of the water and takes a jet out of the sky, wait. We later find out they can travel 500 knots, but have trouble catching a nuclear sub doing less than say, 40 knots. No wait. These nuclear subs have something called "emergency turbos" so maybe they can go faster. Sailors on nuclear subs don't carry handguns. Really. Who would they shoot underwater? At one point they flash the locations of the recent attacks. Nearly all were in the Pacific ocean as expected. There were 3 in the Atlantic. As Sarah Palin might tweet, "WTF?" These creatures for some unexplained reason are impervious to conventional weapons so the military led by our secret government kidnaps three scientists to employ them for information on how to kill them. They get right on the task by mixing water tainted with various vegetable dies. We discover red water added to blue water makes purple water and that blonds love Japanese men who try to act like Sulu as much as Orientals love blonds. After a romp in a closet, they figure out they can lure the creatures into certain ports (San Francisco and Tokoyo) which have a natural shelf and then trap them. The idea being they can get in, but somehow they can't get out, unless they catch a ride with a plane flying overhead. They then manufacture a phermone of an extinct animal for which they would normally have no idea where to start. We know they are successful because when they mix two liquids together it turns florescent green and Debbie Gibson smiles.

At one point Japanese and American subs are in the same area. All the American subs are destroyed but one. The Japanese civilian scientist asks, which one is it, as Debbie or now Deborah Gibson is on one of them. The captain says, "No way of telling." After making subs (this film and Moby Dick) do all kinds of things beyond any smidgeon of realism, they claim they "can't tell." Really they can tell. Each sub has its own unique underwater signature.

The creatures look very artificial. But what did you expect? If you enjoy getting stoned and watching "Lost in Space" episodes, give this one 5 stars.

Movie drops f-bomb once, no nudity, no sex scenes.
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on 9 August 2010
First of all, anybody who gave this film less than 5 stars does not understand film as a concept, as an art form, as part of culture.

'Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus' transcends genres - this is so much more than action adventure, than 'bad science' or monster movie - who can overlook the dark implications that this unleashing of monsters upon the world is the fault of humankind because of our ill treatment of this planet? There can be little coincidence that the shark and octopus go rampant in San Fransisco Bay and Tokyo Bay respectively - two cities built in volatile land regions. Are the film's antagonists deeply symbolic, standing for some natural catastrophe?

While the shark/octopus are the main stars, plenty of screen time is given to the main human cast. Deborah Gibson is utterly believable as the marine biologist who don't take no sass - when her boss/ex-boyfriend has her sacked for alleged misconduct, she also becomes a figurehead for women's rights and an end to misogyny. Her male equivalent is the Japanese genius Dr. Seiji Shimada (Vic Chao), who shatters the common stereotype that Asians aren't very clever.
His relationship with Gibson is a defiant gesture on the filmmakers' part, as it undermines Lorenzo Lamas, who plays a racist and constantly angry government agent. Lamas steals EVERY scene he is in, delivering the film's best lines with everything from sarcasm to disgust to panic to genuine menace. Finally, Sean Lawlor provides some post-ironic comedy gold with his 'Irish' professor. Don't mock his questionable accent, or you have fallen into the trap - Sean Lawlor IS actually Irish, and the unusual accent is there to throw you off! It's quite funny when you think about it for a few minutes.

There is so much more to say about this film, because of the depth it offers us - in fact, I am currently analysing it in significant detail as part of my Media Studies degree - but I cannot begin to fit it all in. To summarise:

ACTING: 8 - even the supporting cast are strong ("It rises...") but a cast shortage sadly means that some people play multiple roles, which can be offputting
STORY: 10 - like I said, this film blurs the line between the normal genre boundaries, not something that many, if any, films have done before
SPECIAL FX: 8 - if you squint, or get really drunk before watching (like I did), then Avatar seems like nothing in comparison

OVERALL: 9.7 - my 2nd favourite film of all time. So very deserving of a perfect 10, but only 'Birdemic' is allowed that privilege.
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on 17 August 2010
This movie had a good story, but the bad CGI really let it down.
The title is quite stupid and some of it was very unbelieveable.

However, as i said, it did have an ok storyline and had quite a good script.

Buy it if your a B - movie fan or just want something to watch on a friday night!
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on 14 October 2009
What do you expect? This film is from the folks at Asylum, makers of many cheap cash ins across every genre. Bad acting, very bad CGI effects and nonsense plotlines are staple ingredients.
Look at the cover, look at the title. What did you expect?
How Debbie Gibson got involved is beyond me, but she seems to have fun, alongside the irish prof whos accent vanishes twice, and the clumsy japanese love interest.
The shark can jump and grab planes, bite bridges and look badly done. The octopus is given second billing and is almost a back character.
A lot of film time is talking, staring into the ocean, and waving various scientific potions around. But the action is fun enough.
Don't expect a miracle, people. Just enjoy.
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on 8 September 2009
Really????? You took the time to watch this film n then ripped into how "bad" it is???

I LOVE this film so so much! Everything about it is amazing!!

- The acting is terrible
- The scriptwriting is somehow worse, queue the line: "ye but the feds will hound you 'til you're leaking from every orifice..."
- The cgi is horrific

Yet somehow it's brilliant! Don't watch this unless you have some form of alcohol in your hand as it just enhances how good this film can be for people who don't take themselves or films too seriously!!!

The only downside to this is how they managed every stereotype in film history from clever asian dude, to rejected old professor who turns out to be right about everything, to the government man who makes things more difficult by being wrong and refusing to accept it and many more... But they missed out on one key stereotype... The black guy who dies first... Well, nothing's perfect...

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on 30 June 2010
The funniest thing about this film is the way it attempts to reuse sets and CGI sequences throughout the film whilst fooling absolutely NO-ONE. The interiors of the many different ships and submarines are identical. Some of the CGI sequences are repeated many times, occasionally they are flipped vertically. For example megashark bites off the same tentacle three times.

The editing is terrible with no sense that the actors and the creatures are in any way occupying the same space. The creatures occupy hardly any screen time.

The acting is abysmal, but I did become increasingly fascinated by the weird grimace Debbie Gibson seems to pull when she is trying to act.
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on 16 February 2010
Terrible storyline, terrible special effects, terrible acting, but I loved it!! If you like b-movies you'll love this!!!
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on 29 August 2012
I bought this film 18 months ago as it was a cheap price. What I should've acknowledged was the reviews before-hand therefore I would've known the price tag was covering not just the purchase but the budget and the Cinema Box Office income. This film is so rubbish its taken the heights of unbelievability up to the top of the Effifel Tower!

The 'plot' sees two geriatric monsters emerge from a suspended sleep of billons of, yawn, years and fight it out. Theres no reason shown as to how or why they cross paths, they just do. What shows just how bad this really is is that half way through this 'film' the humans use a plan involving a certain weapon to try and kill both weapons via a trap. It goes as well as a marriage between a Cat and a Rottweiller Dog. Then in the finale they use the same plan with the same weapon and it WORKS!?! It makes about as much sense as an episode of Eastenders and Crossroads rolled into one. There is a dictionaryload of cliche's as well like 'Only you can do this. Only you can do that.' The set designers even use the same sets for different places in different scenes. Why not just get '60 Second Makeover?'

The cast are dreadful, this is particularly with Deborah Gibson (a singer from the 80's I believe) who looks like she hasn't the faintest idea over who's cue it is next in the script. Lorenzo Lomas looks like he doesn't want to be in this (I can't blame him).
This film is utterly dreadful. It makes 'Power Rangers' look gritty and dramatic. I've only watched it once and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Buy it at your own peril. Trust me though it's scary viewing for all the wrong reasons.
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on 7 October 2009
A wasted opportunity for what could have been a really good movie - unimaginative, lacking in thrills and special effects.
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on 22 June 2014
I know I have a pretty low bar when it comes to trashy B movies, but this really needs to try a bit harder. It started off well, when a truly ridiculous shark took down an aeroplane, but had to make the mistake of introducing a love interest that tried too hard to be a love interest. The film need more silliness and less schmaltz.
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