on 7 August 2009
None of the films comprising the 'Women in Prison Triple Feature' are remotely interesting. All three follow an insultingly silly format: innocent(ish) babe gets locked away in the jungle; falls for guard/governor/doctor/Sandinista-style revolutionary/bloke off Hill St. Blues; much unfeasible degradation; mass shoot-up; and finally 'escape' - culminating in the the totally blasé decimation of the entire cast.
Films like these have no business being boring but never-ending shower scenes and poorly staged battle sequences do not a gripping viewing experience make. Dripping wet women's breasts are a wondrous, Heavenly creation but even my almost psychotically obsessive propensity was at its limits after the umpteenth pair wobbled and splashed across the screen.
Collectively, the picture quality is shocking; the colours have all bled into each other giving everything a glaring orange glow.
Worse, I couldn't tell if the films were panned and scanned from some kind of Scope or not. The titles fitted the 4:3 pretty good without letter-boxing or obvious squeezing, and yet, conversations are regularly to be seen between two noses; and that - mixed with the horror orange - makes the numerous, tepid sex-scenes visually impenetrable.
This may well be down to terrible film-making and not technical butchery. Either way, it's highly pathetic.
The music is similarly frightful; vibrating your eardrums with buzz even when you've got your volume turned right down, and interspersed with the type of screeched euro-ballad that'll have you dashing for the bathroom to indulge in deliriously satisfying vomiting.
The sexploitation factor? Grim, artless and tawdry. Nothing anywhere near the vicious fun levels of 'Women of Cell Block 9,' 'Violence in a Womens Prison' or even 'Bamboo House of Dolls.' - films made with the same sleazy mind-set as 'WIPTF' but each