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3.3 out of 5 stars
92
3.3 out of 5 stars
Format: Blu-ray|Change
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on 8 July 2012
On the plus side (hence 2 stars), I did not hit the fast forward button once.

On the negative side, just about everything else. Obnoxious characters (especially the males).

Miserable, sick plot. Cliches and when that saw came out, oh no, not again.

Funniest moment of the film (unintentional I am sure) is when one of the lads gets shot with a flare.

(btw no graphic sex shown and the hanky panky only lasts a couple of minutes).

An amateur, uninspired effort which could have been so much better if it had been a comedy or a drama with less obnoxious characters.
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on 15 December 2015
This was the worst film I have ever had the displeasure of watching - woeful acting and shambolic directing. The effort spent in creating this abomination was a complete waste of oxygen and precious electricity - there are children in Africa who are starving and yet this is somehow produced. Unfortunately I will never have the 90 wasted minutes of my life returned to me. When someone suggests this film to me next time, I will show them the door if not the window on the 20th floor. Diabolical.
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on 5 December 2010
Deary me. Why did the British Film Council put any funding into this? Someone obviously thought that it would be a bit of a jolly to hire a yacht in the Med and film a 'suspense / horror / thriller' on it. Regrettably they failed to realise that an important part of making a successful suspense film is characterisation and motivation. And suspense.

What we are given is just a string of (often absurdly gory) moments in series on a boat. A boat which seems peculiarly tardis-like, incidentally, given how characters seem to be completely lost for parts of the film, despite it only being a 76 footer. Linear and tedious, I couldn't wait for it to be over. Genuinely, one of the worst films I've yet seen, and not even generous enough to be 'funny bad'.
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on 25 August 2009
Won't waste your time too much. The more I tell you how bad it was the more you will be inclined just to check it out and if it is really that rubbish. Well, it is that rubbish - but not in a so-bad-it's-good-way or a 'jeez - did you see that?!' way. No, this is just simply bad. It might help of course if some of the actors could act their way out a wet paper bag, or there was a decent script, or a storyline or well, something. I particularly disliked the guy who spoke like he was a cool Frank Bruno - not sure of his name, but really awful. Watch this fim and then lets all repeat together: HOW DO THEY GET THE FUNDING TO MAKE THIS STUFF?
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on 28 April 2015
Although it was violent, it showed how easily young people can get themselves into escalating situations and then panic with devastating consequences
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on 22 February 2009
First off:- WARNING to anyone with a shiny new blu ray player and HD TV THIS IS NOT A HIGH DEF VERSION OF THIS FILM. Quite frankly I think the people behind this release should be THOROUGHLY ASHAMED of themselves at releasing a blu ray of this film not in HD. This is the first instance of this that I have come across and I will from now on NEVER assume a blu ray is HD, I'll be checking first. If you want this film buy the DVD (ALL blu ray players also play DVDs) or source one of the proper HD blu ray versions that must be out there somewhere.

The picture quality of this film was so bad even with my built in upscaler it is difficult to rate this film and ignore that fact but I shall try.

I thought this film was a little low budget tense british gem. For sure it uses all the standard tropes for a film of this genre but the setting is less common and all the more refreshing for that. Make no mistake this no 'Dead Calm' but it is good nevertheless.

Three birds out for kicks in the Med take up some guys offer of a trip on a yacht for which these four guys are crew members (the owner is somewhere else). We have the obligatory Tart, the tough girl, and the sweet innocent girl trying to forget her ex. The guys are two brothers, the skipper and the druggy. The tension mounts pretty quickly and the knowledge that it's all going to end in tears is rewarded quite early in the film. How many die? How many survive? Now that would be telling! There are at least two good kills and two surprises. The girl who played the big brother staff member in 'Dead Set' recently, plays her tough girl role here well as she did in that show also, she's going to do well. Thats about it really. It's worth a punt. 4/5 for the film, 0/5 because it's not HD.
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on 29 August 2015
This was okay. There is a story to it, and there was enough nudity and goriness.
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on 10 April 2009
Im caught on the brink between 1 star or 5 stars. This depends wholly on whether the character Blue was a joke or not. If he was totally satirical then this is one of the best films ive seen in ages. If not then the writer has had no interaction with young people for decades, and is simply creating a main character with scraps of teen jargon heard on the bus. The rest of the film was pretty good, good setting, grizzly, really simple plot which left the attention wisely to tension and building involvement. As i say, Blue could make all this invalid if he is not a total joke..... but i dont see how any writer could be that ignorant, but played marvelously if he IS designed to be taken with a sack of salt. Sea salt, the kind that hasnt even been ground
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on 16 September 2009
Donkey Punch is a taut little Brit-shocker that succeeds in many aspects, but fails in a couple of important ones. The main problem lies with the characters. The guys are callous and contemptible and the girls more than a little stupid. Although there are signs that the writers realised this, and therefore tried to make a couple of the characters more sympathetic, there's no one here that the viewer can really empathise with and as a result the brutality (and there's plenty of it) is diffused in its effect. And, while the viewer's allegiance is challenged from time to time, its hard to care too much about who survives and who doesn't. It's also a little slow in delivering the mayhem. Once it starts, however, the gears shift and it becomes an efficient, and gory, descent into chaos.
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on 21 November 2011
i know people have slated this film . but i like it its good horror. obviously the men are chavs apart from that one guy who gets on with tammy. tammy is proberly the best character in it coz she is the most level headed and moralistic. she actually dont wanna go on boat coz she can proberly see whats gonna happen. the other girls are jus slutty really. but when a girl iz killed thanks to a stupid story its basiclly a fight for survival and the deaths are brutal.

stupid characters apart from two/good horror and suspense. i like it.
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