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3.4 out of 5 stars
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on 22 December 2016
There’s some strong horror ancestry in Hatchet; Kane Hodder (Jason/Leatherface) is the main baddie, with Tony Todd (Candyman/Final Destination) and Robert Englund (among others) popping up in cameo roles. Even though this is the kind of generic horror premise you’ve seen a thousand times before Hatchet is different in that it’s very well made: it’s brilliantly lit, boasts supreme gore FX & inventive deaths, and has a cast full of good performances. It takes everything that people love and expect from a slasher film and turns it up to eleven: e.g. you don’t just get to see one pair of gratuitous boobs, but are treated to entire line-ups of Mardi Gras waps.

It’s also got a cool comedy/horror vibe in that if it wasn’t for the brutal ultra-graphic moments of cartoonishly over-the-top deaths, the film would probably be a 12A, as it’s overall quite playful and funny; the wannabe actresses in particular provide more than their fair share of the LOLz. There’s also a beautiful ‘classic’ orchestrated soundtrack that wouldn’t be out-of-place in something like Indiana Jones. Everything comes together nicely to create a movie that’s surprisingly hard to describe or define, but is undeniably fun… it’s not quite a parody, and it’s definitely not a kids film, but it’s a ripping-and-roaring “Old School American Horror” - and for once, a slasher that lives up to its tagline.

Score: 7.5/10
B-Movie Score: 9/10
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A group set out on a 'Haunted Swamp' tour, not realising it is only the
tour guide's second trip.
Disaster strikes when the boat runs a ground, the group have to get out
and walk, they are literally in the middle of nowhere, they need to find
their way back to civilisation.
'Mary-Beth' joined the tour because her father and brother had gone missing
a couple of nights back in that area, she tells the group about the legends
and story's, which doesn't help the morale.
They set off............they are lost in 'Victor Crawley's' territory.....things soon
take a turn for the worse.
There is plenty of blood, guts, gore throughout the movie, some character's in
this type of movie have 'victim' written all over them.
Some of the scenes put me in mind of 'Michael Myers' (Halloween)
I am reliably informed that this is almost certainly the weakest of the trilogy
however I'm told as some of the earlier reviewers say to understand the second
and third the first needs to be watched first, we shall see ?
Extra Gory Bits....
*The Making of 'Hatchet'
*Meeting 'Victor Crowley'
*Guts and Gore.
*Anatomy of a kill.
*A twisted tale.
and everybody's delight ---'The gag reel
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on 30 September 2014
the legend is born the first of a trio of hatchet films to match,jason and Freddie kruger.
in this first film a boat is taken on the louisianna swamps on marde gras by 8 people only to hit a rock and sink,lost in the swamps the quiet girl plays hell with the con artist boat driver and tells them about how hatchet got his name ,tormented by children his father went to he store to come back on Halloween to find children tormenting his deformed son and a fire is set .as hatchets father tries to break down the door with a hatchet (axe) not knowing hatchet is leaning against it to try and break out,his father accidentally hits hatchet in the face with the axe killing his boy and becomes a recluse for 10 years .dying heartbroken for what he had done to his son,but his son nicknamed hatched has return,calling for his father and tearing apart anyone he finds.
a really good film and so are 2 and 3 ,I recommend this.
WARNING; do not buy from dvds r us as they make slanderouse remarks to you
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on 15 May 2017
The cover draws you in! But the cover is defiantly better than the film, can't complain though, cheap & something to watch lol
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on 6 March 2017
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A cast of unknowns, a swampy abandoned bayou, a ruined house, buckets of gore, and a deformed backwater psycho. Classic horror, in other words.

And you have to admit, "Hatchet" never pretends to be anything it's not -- a horror movie in the classic slasher vein, with lots of blood and dismemberment. Adam Green doesn't do anything we haven't seen before, but he does it with such gleeful enjoyment. And gloriously satirical dialogue ("Your nipples are dumb!").

A bunch of guys are at Mardi Gras, enjoying the beer, beads and breasts. Ben (Joel Moore) is depressed about a recent breakup, so he decides to drag his pal Marcus (Deon Richmond) on a haunted boat trip. Since the main guides no longer do night tours, Ben and Marcus end up on a tiny boat with two dumb tourists, two softcore porn actresses, their "producer," and a mystery girl with a gun.

But then the newbie guide accidentally runs them into a rock, and they run afoul of gaters. And then Marybeth (Tamara Feldman) reveals the horrifying truth -- she's there to find her brother and father, who vanished in this same swamp. Supposedly it's haunted by the ghost of Victor Crowley, a horribly deformed boy who was accidentally killed by his father during a fire.

Of course, nobody buys this until a grotesque creature comes jumping out of the old Crowley house and hacks up the tourists with a hatchet. Terrified, the people go running through the woods, with Victor hot in pursuit -- and their only hope of escape is to get back to New Orleans. But how can they escape someone who cannot be killed?

Again, this has all been done before -- think "Halloween" meets "Friday the 13th," with dashes of other horror classics thrown in there. But you know, that's good -- Green is just trying to make a funny, gory, entertaining horror movie without pretensions. And no, the black guy and the slut are not the first ones to die (just for your info).

The first half of the movie is basically buildup and murky bayou atmosphere. Then Victor starts dismembering people, and from then on it's all about people running around shrieking, and getting killed off one by one. That would be a bit boring after awhile, but Green keeps it interesting by throwing in a few twists -- and the last scene will make you hide under your bed.

Along the way, we have ripped-off heads, chainsaw murders, buckets of gore, and lots of gruesome deaths shown in bloody detail. But to keep things from ever getting too serious, there's some bleak comedy (including Marcus' gradual fall from a tree). Most of it comes from the feuding porn girls ("Are you sure the number is 911?"), but there are some priceless lines from other characters ("He fell into the water... hit his head... and... SUED ME FOR NEGLIGENCE! That C***SUCKER!").

All the actors do nice solid jobs in their roles -- Moore is a likable nice guy who inexplicably keeps his head in a crisis, and Richmond is fun as the guy who REALLY didn't want to go on this. Feldman really rules the story as the feisty, grim love interest, but all the actors are good -- and Mercedes McNab and Joleigh Fioreavanti are a riot.

As for the bad guy? Well, Kane Hodder (aka Jason Vorhees) makes a wonderfully grotesque slasher villain, looking like an orc with a hunchback. Given his backstory, you'd feel sorry for the guy if he weren't trying to carve everyone into lunch meat. And note to horror geeks -- keep an eye out for Tony Todd/Candyman, playing a very POed "Reverend Zombie."

"Hatchet" is all unpretentious gore and dismemberment -- and hilarious love note to classic slasher horror. Funny, crazy, and not terribly complex.
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on 31 July 2008
This is Writer/Director Adam Green's first major movie, after his first effort `Coffee & Donuts' back in 2000, and he has managed to pull in some horror-film greats for cameos which gives the film a touch more credit then it would've had otherwise. Robert Englund, was of course the infamous Freddie Kruger in the `Nightmare On Elm Street' movies of the 80's, and has most recently been seen in `2001 Maniacs' and it's follow up, `2001 Maniacs: Beverly Hillbillies'; Tony Todd was of course the killer in `Candyman', and can also be seen in `2001 Maniacs: Beverly Hillbillies'; & great stuntman Kane Hodder, who has been Jason in `Friday 13th parts 7,8,9 and 10 (Jason X)', and any number of killers and goons, has also recently played the role of serial killer, Ed Gein in last year's movie, `Ed Gein - The Butcher Of Plainfield'.

`Hatchet' was made back in 2006, and made a brief appearance at local cinemas here in UK in Autumn of last year (about a week - or two if you were lucky). Boasting the tag lines of, "Old School American Horror" and "It's not a remake. It's not a sequel. And it's not based on a Japanese one." It had me salivating and slightly nostalgic for the stalk and slasher genre that I loved in the 80's. After sitting through it, I must confess to be totally mixed at my feelings towards it - let me explain:

`Hatchet' is a horror but with more than a touch of humour to it. Don't get me wrong this isn't one of those generic comedy horrors from a low-budget era, nor is it remotely in the mode of Brit Zom-Com, `Shaun Of The Dead', but it is more closely resembling the cool dialogue of Rob Zombies, `House of 1000 Corpses' and the tongue-in-cheek of `2001 Maniacs'.

Actor Joel Moore (previously seen in `Dodgeball' and `Dukes Of Hazzard: The Beginning') is an unlikely hero in his slightly goofy and witty role, and dare I say carries the comedy in a Tom Green sort of fashion, nailing a fine performance that Adam Green should be proud of. Another nod of the head can go to Parry Shen, who plays `Shawn' the over-theatrical tour-guide, however as the story unfolds and his act is dropped, then so is our interest in his character which is a shame.

The storyline is a little thin, as we are told about a tormented disfigured boy who died years ago, but there's a legend that suggests that he's alive and murdering anyone near his home. It's a little clichéd, but the location of a swamp trip in New Orleans lends just enough originality to keep you interested. The cameos of Mr Englund and Mr Todd are fairly brief, and we have a slightly disappointing characters by numbers with two bimbos happy to flash their breasts at the drop of a hat, and a moody, and troubled girl, who of course knows of the legend. Kane Hodder was made to be a madman, and as the maniac, `Victor Crowley' he is clearly in his element - in fact the bonus material is just as good as the movie as we see the tricks that Kane plays on the cast, as well as how they were kept away from him in his make up, and the scene that is shot with them all scared in anticipation on what he will look like for the first time - great entertaining stuff!

Adam Green has written and directed a good movie here. It's not Friday the 13th, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Scream or I Know What You Did Last Summer, but a slightly lower budget movie with some great acting in. There is gore galore, and some interesting death-scenes, but I get the feeling that it's all a little too set up and so lacks the real impact that the scene drive home. We have frustrating scenes whereby you wonder why they don't run, or do the opposite to what they end up doing, but that's the beauty of the movies folks! And of course, Adam Green - who does stand up comedy at LA's Rainbow Bar & Grill, by the way - has a great sense of humour, not only in the dialogue but the subtle things in the movie. The character, Marybeth's gun changes form a Glock, to a Colt, to a Smith & Wesson, whereas in another scene character Ben uses a Zippo lighter, when previously the only lighter he had was a Bic, these are subtle but big enough to be anything more than a deliberate disregard for continuity.

Despite being a fan of this tired genre it was always going to be hard to do something new. Rob Zombie has managed it with the Halloween remake, but again that's updating an old story. Our tastes have changed to more torture horror like in the Saw movies, Hostel, and others like Captivity, and Paradise Lost. Whilst `Hatchet' has elements of `old school American horror' there is still room for improvement, and personally I'm never too sure how much horror and comedy should be used together.

If you loved all of the `80's horror movies especially the goofy ones like `Sleepaway Camp', `Prom Night', `Killer Clowns From Outter Space' and `House', or you are a lover of slightly predictable bogeyman movies then this is for you, however if you like originality, jumps, suspense and twists galore then you may find yourself disappointed. `Hatchet' is slightly above mediocre, once again suggesting that we shouldn't always believe the hype.
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VINE VOICEon 17 December 2010
Nothing new or mind blowing here. But, if you are looking for a good old fashioned 80's style horror shocker, this is your cookie. Highly amusing and some marvellous deaths keep you ticking over to usual shocking finale. Definitely one for the latter day stalk and slash enthusiast. You know the drill, the usual party of emptyheads stray into psychopathic killers hiding ground, in this case the swamps of Louisiana, and the slaughter begins. Top stuff!!
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Nerdy Ben is tired of all the debauchery he's seen at Mardi Gras, and talks his wise-acre pal Marcus into joining him on the "Haunted Swamp Night Tour" (all together now, say, "Don't do it!!") They join a collection of clueless tourists that includes a porn-maker and his actresses and a mysterious, and very pretty young lady. Right on cue, the tour boat starts to sink - in the rain and in the dark - and our little band of thrillseekers is trudging through the bayou, which, as everyone knows, is the home of the infamous mad killer Victor Crowley, also known as Hatchet.

This slasher flick was better than most because there was plenty of humor, courtesy of Ben and Marcus and the porn queens, and it doesn't take itself too seriously; Ben and Marcus are the kind of guys who would make wise cracks all through a movie like this. There's actually a good story here and the one-by-one killings are all done differently and, mercifully, quickly. If you like things that go bump in the night and actually enjoy people being eviscerated, this is the movie for you.
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on 22 July 2013
The Amazon review refers to the unrated version but the cover shows an 18 certificate, so what is it? I know that there's an uncertificated US release (84 minutes) and a German two disc set but this doesn't seem to be the Anchor Bay or Sunfilm version.
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