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on 3 March 2017
This is an amazing book that has taught me a lot about myself in general and about setting boundaries with the people in my life. Great book that I would recommend to anyone who is struggling with relationships and isolation.
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on 27 March 2017
Really simple principles and relevant examples - this book has helped me to understand more about myself
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on 11 October 1998
This book helped me to overcome much of the pain of an abusive childhood.
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on 15 May 1998
A-plus! This is a GREAT book that helped me understand how my past affected every area of my life (work, relationships, and my underlying attitudes). Although I had experienced great success in the business world, my personal relationships were suffering terribly and I was miserable on the inside. This book helped me understand why and how to change.
It clearly explained the important things I needed but didn't get out of each developmental stage while growing up from an infant to an adult. While reading the book, it became clear how I developed coping mechanisms to get through life--trying to get my needs met--with mixed results. On the outside, I was a picture of success, but on the inside I was tired, empty, unhappy and frustrated.
With this understanding, and a continued commitment to find new ways to think, act and live, I am now learning to live a life that promises to be happier and healthier. Thanks Dr. Cloud for your part in bringing about these changes in me!
I highly recommend other books written by Henry Cloud's (Safe People, Boundaries) as they are also well written and very good resources for healing the innermost areas of the heart and minds to help enjoy the journey to wholeness and joy!
'Changes That Heal' is a book that is informative and life changing. Change and Healing IS possible! Definitely worth reading! A-plus!
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on 14 April 2016
This book has changed the way I view life and has given me hope for a better future through relating healthily to myself, God, and others.
I actually passively enjoyed life attending boarding school and going to university until I encountered depression a couple of years ago at the age of 20. Since then, I've embarked on a journey to finding healing for the internal issues of my heart and mind.

The revelation of the need for unity between 'grace and truth' in relationship has enabled me to see how past relationships and beliefs led to fear in relationships, shame, hiding in relationships. Dr. Cloud states honestly that grace without truth is license and only perpetuates immaturity, whilst truth without grace is judgement which only leads to fear, loss of connection, powerlessness. The unity of both however allows complete acceptance of the current state whilst truthfully confronting character issues that need to be dealt with in order to achieve greater emotional health and success in life. The realization that I have both these in Christ and can have them in healthy relationships with safe people, has given me hope for future relationships. This grace and honesty in love is the only thing that will bring safety and intimacy in emotional connection, which is the only thing that will heal and bring fulfillment and joy in our lives.
The 'sorting out good and bad' section has challenged distorted beliefs that have been detrimental to the way I have related to the world. The realization of the reality that both good and bad co-exist in the world and people is allowing me to accept the way the world and people are. Of course this doesn't mean that we need to tolerate evil, but if something/someone 'misses the mark' one time, we don't have to judge or condemn them for their imperfection. I can learn to extend grace as opposed to exercising judgement which only leads to unforgiveness and resentment.
This book really is like looking in a mirror - the insight and knowledge has led to a clear understanding of why I behave and act the way I do. It reveals the root issues of learned behaviour patterns, but also gives steps in dealing with these and reverting to healthy patterns that will lead to greater emotional health.

I bought this book because I was desperate to step out of depression and into the abundant life Christ paid for us. I can honestly say that the wisdom in this book has given me tools that I know will lead to greater joy which is only found in healthy intimate connection with God and others. We were designed for relationship therefore it is the only place we will feel the most fulfilled and satisfied with life. I definitely have a lot more hope for a more healthily connected and joyful future now :)
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on 29 November 2010
This is a fantastic book that I think everyone should read. It is simple and practical and very insightful allowing thought to process deep things leading to freedom from poor ways of thinking and behaving.
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on 21 April 2012
Very significant, helpful, clear book. Well written with lots of examples, and provides a fundamental basis for emotional health and healing. I found the sections on boundaries and bonding in relationships especially helpful.
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on 16 October 1998
This is the best "self-help" title I've ever read.
Too often we don't understand why we act and feel the way we do. This book will help you understand what underlies many of the issues which seem to hang on through life. Many of the things are unresolved issues that need to come to light and be understood. It can also point out some things that are not accepted when spouses, friends, etc, tell us the very same things. You may not suffer from all the things described, but I'm sure you'll see yourself, family, and/or friends in the many examples.
A really enjoyable voyage through self. Would make a great small group practical study too.
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on 22 October 2012
Changes That Heal: How to Understand the Past to Ensure a Healthier Future

This is so good I keep giving it away and buying more. Easy to read and informative. It really does what it says on the cover, helps to understand how the past affects the present but doesn't encourage us to blame it and do nothing.
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on 28 December 1998
This book has changed the way I view relationships and how to handle past issues. It has very sound scriptural references which I go back to time and time again. This book has helped me put into perspective all of my relationships. If everyone read this book, and applyed the principles, this would be a much better world.
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