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on 6 August 2017
One of the things I love this book is that it doesn't assume gender or sexual orientation in the discussion or examples, and there's no religion. So many of these books seem to be written from such a Christian perspective with male-female gender norm couplings that it's hard to apply them if your situation doesn't fit that mould.

This book is a hard read. Probably for both parties, but as someone who has been abusive it was gut wrenching. A lot of it was also focused on fixing a broken relationship, so if like me you're too late and your partner has already left it's especially hard to swallow as it's full of things that if I'd heard and done a year ago might have saved us. That said there are good sections on moving forward and not making the same mistakes again. I have a lot of work to do, but at least now I have a road map.
5 people found this helpful
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on 9 August 2016
I believe I have been in an emotionally abusive relationship with my wife for around 15 years, although it has been a very slow process of realisation for me. I searched in vain for years of some kind of third party validation and this book is the first and so far only place i have found this. I am amazed that most books on abuse within relationships assume that it is a male on female phenomenon. i am also saddened that most treat the abuser as beyond redemption. This hope this becomes a more widely understood issue in the coming years, and i believe this book will go a long way to help people with this awful affliction.
7 people found this helpful
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TOP 500 REVIEWERon 18 July 2015
I found this book to be very informative. It speaks to you in easy to understand terms.
It gives examples of cases as it goes along but most useful of all, it tells you how to get out of an abusive relationship.
I have a friend who is going through this and I needed to know how to help.
This book has pointed me in the right direction, and has taught me to say the right things without sounding preachy or lecturing.
The advice given in the book is working because I can see my friend - very gradually - learning how to handle their situation.
6 people found this helpful
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on 15 January 2014
Simply an excellent book. Very easy to read and clear yet full with detailed information. Has improved my life immeasurably. Far better understanding is possible with this book. Far too late for my last relationship but greatly helps recovery.
2 people found this helpful
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on 26 September 2013
This book gives you so many insights into how and why things go wrong. Very kind as well! Even my boyfriend read two chapters, if only he'd finished it, he might not be my ex!
One person found this helpful
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on 5 June 2017
Fantastic book. One gains a good grasp of abusive relationships.
One person found this helpful
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on 2 December 2013
The book explained a lot about what was going on with my relationship and has raised my understanding of my own behaviour as well as my partners. I feel it has given me some insight in to where we've been going wrong. Although I havent yet finished the book, i am hoping it will help me to avoid the same behaviour and behave in a more constructive way.
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on 3 March 2015
It's not easy to read that you were likely abused as a child. Yet, this book does not only offer you this assertion. It also attempts to provide you with constructive ways to work on that
2 people found this helpful
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on 9 October 2015
Great book. If wish my Mum Had read this book.
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on 17 June 2013
I found this book extremely insightful ,and would highly recommend for anyone struggling to understand th epatterns of abuse that can exist in relationships.
One person found this helpful
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