Top critical review
3 people found this helpful
DO NOT BUY THIS FALSE ATLAS OF DECEPTION
on 27 December 2014
This is not a map of Days!
I moved to Days, Maine many many years ago from Ipswitch, England, and in the winter of '14 I had decided to engage in the popular american hobby of extreme survivalist exercises.
At 8pm on December the 1st that year, after kissing the missus and the sprogs goodbye, I went into the freezing Days Forest with little other than my pocket-knife, teaspoon, binoculars, and my so-called 'Map of Days' (which I bought on Amazon and it arrived 2 days ahead of schedule, admirably) as I ran barefoot into the endless freezing darkness. The searing hot thrill of adventure zapping down one's nerves, and the scream of freedom leaving one's lungs.
I managed to find some natural shelter and started constructing a small fire that would last me until the morrow, when I planned to find or construct myself a more secure and habitable shelter and with some luck set up a camp. But after I gave the fire enough wood to buy its allegiance to guard while I slept, I thought I'd have a quick perusal of the very important cartographic book I had purchased, just to prepare myself for the following morning's arduous task. I felt sick to my stomach when I realised that I held in my hands some ludicrous hypocrisy, some twisted joke, the hardback of my bane. This book nearly cost me my life. Don't let it cost you yours. Listen attentively!
I spent two and half weeks in Days Forest, and escaped with only minor frostbite in all of my toes and dysentery. Thankfully the false document found use on the occasional night the fire was not feeling welcome by making his bed a little softer, though the colourful pages of that little twerp protagonist running about in the fantastical worlds only seemed to mock my miserable fate of being lost in a small dark rural forest.
I am giving this the lowest possible star rating, because every night I spent sitting and clutching my toes and religiously observing the pages of illustrations of the protagonist blaze into a twist of smouldering paper instilled in me a spiritual sense of power to which I owe my survival in Days Forest and my recent success in battling agoraphobia.
Map of Days my foot!