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4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5 stars
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on 13 May 2009
I have never come across a book like this before! Part personal memoir, part eulogy and part medical analysis. As is the case for most people Andrea Gillies came across Alzheimers accidentally and with little knowledge or training. She details the painful experience of caring for her much loved mother in law, Nancy, an experience that is painful and bewildering for herself and her family. The experience is confusing and unsettling for Nancys husband, Morris. And ultimately and most tragically the experience is a void and a vacuum for Nancy herself. She rarely understands her own condition as she loses all the threads of her memories. The book is sad and comic by turn, will help anyone facing similar circumstances but is most appealing because it does not fall into that easy, self-help book category.
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on 16 April 2016
If you have any questions about Alzheimer's or Dementia, this is an invaluable insight to the disease... Written in an easy to understand way... It also allows you to enjoy a humorous element... I personally have gained a much greater understanding of this now, which will, and has, changed the way I view my role as a Carer... Brilliantly written and researched...
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on 12 April 2014
This is a moving and fascinating account by Gillies of living with and caring for her mother in law, who was sadly inflicted with Alzheimers. Unlike other books which are 'guides' as to what to do, this was a much more human response to the everydayness of this condition, and how you cope - and also how you don't cope. It is a brave and beautifully written book that I would thoroughly recommend to anyone facing this, or even not facing it, as it is incredibly common and most of us will be touched by it at some point in our lives.
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on 2 October 2009
As someone caring for a partner with Alzheimers Disease, I read what I can, to give me advice, support and an understanding of what is happening to my partner and myself. This book does just about everything. It is compassionate, funny, and so true. I related to most of it. It is a must read for anyone who has a family member with dementia
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on 14 June 2011
I read this book a year ago but can't get it out of my head. Always interested in memory, aging, family memoir, within a few pages of starting it, I literally couldn't put it down. When I had finished it, the family, and the dilemma at the heart of this family, was so vivid that I couldn't bring myself to begin reading another book for days. It's a clever and beautiful mix of honest family memoir (with all the heartbreak, black humour and frustration that real families experience) and intelligence gathering about the topic of Alzheimers. It might sound bleak, but it isn't: it's life-affirming in the way that it shows that people can learn to cope with burdens that look crushing at the outset. I recommend it to anyone and everyone.
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on 25 November 2010
A compelling, tragicomic read about this family's personal experience with Alzheimer's. It is as I expected it, having read previous reviews; the style is enjoyable and the whole hangs together to give the reader a warts-and-all idea of what to expect if Alzheimer's comes to touch us directly, as it will many of us. The scientific explanations are dealt with in small chunks, at appropriate moments, so informative but never an overload. Recommended reading for anyone with older relatives, or wondering whether they themselves are embarking on a path towards dementia of one sort or another.
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on 12 December 2009
I have read most books in this area, but have never had such an enjoyable, stimulating read.I started to ration myself to only a chapter a day - to spin it out. It is brilliant writing. Andrea Gillies explains with reference to her research and honestly explores her feelings, emotions and actions, charts Nancy's decline and weaves in lyrical description of the countryside and weather. Stunning! I've written a book about my mothers dementia with lewy bodies - no wonder I can't get it published when there are books like 'Keeper' around.....
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on 28 September 2010
My husband has Alzheimers, and I wondered if I would be able to face reading this book, which I saw well reviewed. In fact, I found it fascinating, and not gloomy - which is quite remarkable considering the subject. It has been extremely helpful to read the chapters which include research into the way the memory works and the progression of the disease; it explains what is happening to my husband and makes it easier for me to be understanding and patient in daily living when I know which parts of the brain are ceasing to function and the effect that has. I am impressed that Andrea was able to care for Nancy for so long, and I think it is important to realise not only that Alzheimers takes different courses, certainly in the earlier stages, depending on the experience and background of the patient, but also that the amount of care we are able to give relates to our own age and ability. Looking after someone of an older generation is physically more practical than for someone of ones own age (in our case, both of us are in our 80's).
I am grateful for this book and to Andrea for writing frankly about the experience of living with Alzheimers. It is never going to be an easy ride, but knowledge of the subject does help, and it is a comfort to know that other people lose their patience sometimes! Don't be afraid to read it.
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on 26 May 2010
'In this account of caring for her mother-in-law, Andrea Gillies avoids all the pitfalls of the misery memoir. It's a vivid, honest, perceptive first hand report but more than that, an exploration of the role of memory in identity. At times, shocking, funny, informative and provocative, it is undoubtedly a compelling read. Never depressing yet with challenging insights into old age and senility, it raises sharp questions about the caring for those growing numbers who can no longer be independent. It is a profound contemplation through science, political critique and deeply felt emotion of one of the looming problems of the 21st Century.'

The Orwell Prize is Britain's most prestigious prize for political writing. The Book Prize judges for 2010 were Jonathan Heawood (director, English PEN), Andrew Holgat
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on 2 June 2009
Dementia presents in many ways and as a carer it is often difficult understand the behaviour of the person with the disease. This book helps and is written with sincere empathy and a much needed touch of healing humour. We have purchased a second copy to pass on.
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