Top critical review
13 people found this helpful
I'm not sure how I feel about this book
on 20 March 2012
This is the first book I have read discussing suicide and its after effects, so I have nothing to compare it to. I was looking for some answers, some indication of what I can expect while going through grieving someone who killed themself.
Honestly I'm not sure how I feel about this book - some parts were very helpful. There are so many extracts from people's discussions on suicide and how they have coped, and reading these was reassuring - so many of their feelings, I have had as well. And moments where I feel like i'm actually going a little bit crazy - people describe similar moments, which again, is reassuring. It's good to know you're not alone.
But a large part of the book focuses on bargains - the emotional deals we make with ourselves in order to cope. And within that, a large amount of focus seems to be placed on anger, and where we direct it. I struggled with this part as I just didn't agree with it, and it seemed such a recurrent theme. I don't feel a huge amount of anger, but when I do, I think its valid whether it's directed at myself or others. I felt the book was saying that this anger should be directed at the person who commited suicide and that to direct this anger at yourself or family, or members of the medical profession, is a way of re-directing this anger.
I don't know... I do think this is a good book, but I did get some help from it, but some parts I really did struggle with. It's only been 3 months since I lost someone I loved to suicide, so maybe I came to this book too soon. If I read again and feel differently, I might post another review.