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Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5 stars
4.9 out of 5 stars
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on 4 December 2012
I've just bought this for my 7yr old who has pretty extreme outbursts of anger. He has ASD (autism) and ADHD so he cannot help but react instantly to situations without thinking, but my hope is to help him gradually learn better reactions for the times when his brain does actually engage before furniture goes flying! I was reluctant about introducing this book to my child because it's not tailored specifically for children with special needs, and he's only 7, however I feel this book is so child-friendly and clearly laid out that even young and/or high functioning ASDs like my son will find it accessible. The medium sized print means he can read it himself, though it is designed to be read and worked through with an adult, and the cute illustrations throughout help to keep him engaged and interested too. My son is very aware of how much trouble his temper is causing him and wants things to change. He is open to working through this book and I do think that's really important. I don't know how effective this would be for children who are more close-minded and unwilling to change, as it requires the child to not just listen or read but actively participate with some written exercises throughout the book to reinforce what's being learned. With that in mind, I'm not sure it would help moody teenagers who are set in their ways, and would recommend it as being most suitable for 7-12 year olds.

The book starts out with a clear metaphoric explanation of what anger is, using driving a car, which I think will appeal to a lot of kids. My child struggles to understand a lot of metaphors but I think he will understand this, especially using the little visual exercises the book encourages us readers to employ while we read. The metaphoric explanations also help children to distance themselves a little and see that their anger / temper is just one part of the whole (positive) person they are. This approach is used throughout and I think it's a great way to help children deal with the problem without lowering their probably already fragile self-esteem (angry kids tend to get themselves into a lot of trouble after all!). This book reassures kids that it's perfectly normal and healthy to feel angry; it's what they choose to do with that anger that is causing the problems.

The written exercises throughout the book are simple and can be tailored to the individual child's needs and abilities across the primary school levels. Most of the exercises involve children filling in what their thoughts are in various anger-trigger every day situations, and filling in the emotional features on what they are probably feeling when they have those thoughts. A parent can fill these in alongside a reluctant or less able writer acting as a scribe, while more able children can do it themselves and include more detail. I think the smattering of written exercises are included to help ensure that children feel involved and are relating to, and understanding, the situations and triggers the book explores. There are lots of little light-hearted bits in here that will help the children to deal with things without getting bogged down with negativity too, and I really like that. For example on one page there is a check list asking kids if anger has ever helped them in such and such situations, and one or two of them are a bit far-fetched. I can see my son giggling at these as he ticks them off, while still getting the clear point that angry reactions don't achieve things in life. This particular check list is followed up with a more serious list that helps children to understand there are also situations where there angry reactions actually make things worse.

All in all a four star book. The only gripe I have is that there are some American words included, and for the price tag, I think they could have produced a UK version! Instead of explaining American words, which I think will detract my son from the task at hand, I have gone over them with tippex and written over them in UK English (recess, grades etc). It only took me about five minutes to do. Other than that, I think the book tackles the issue in an extremely clear and child-friendly way, without impacting on the child's self esteem. Some of the techniques in the book are ones I know that challenging behaviour advisers recommend, and the text makes good sense to me throughout as well. I'm confident that the research that went into producing this was of a high standard and that this will have some positive impact on my child's anger issues in the long run.
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on 30 January 2011
I bought this book for my 7yr old who seemed to be going through a period of losing his temper easily. It was a great in assisting him to understand his temper and how to deal with it. Practical and at a level that is easy to understand and digest.
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on 21 April 2016
This is a great book which I bought when I could think of nothing else to do to help my 7-year old son with his frustration and anger. He's a bright, intelligent boy but when his angry outbursts began to spill over at school I knew had to help him fast.
I'd tried books designed to be read by parents and various websites but nothing really connected. I was seriously considering taking him to our GP to see where we could go with this .... but I was also reluctant too. I don't have any
Being a keen reader, I've brought my son up to enjoy books and we love reading together. I'm so glad I came onto Amazon and a quick search came up with this book. I am not exaggerating when I say, that for us, it was a miracle-worker - I can't express enough how much it helped us BOTH, literally overnight. It was good to bond too, reading it together. I could see the relief on his face that his emotions were 'normal' (despite my previous reassurances!) ... the book just has a lovely reassuring tone pitched, I would say, ideally at the 7-10 age group. He took it into school the next day and the teachers were so impressed by it too that they said they would also get one.
Six months down the line, I have a son who knows how to take back control - he's happy and relaxed again and it's given him MAJOR confidence. The book is always around and he'll often fetch it and ask us to read it together .... I can tell it gives him comfort, especially when he's feeling overwhelmed. Definitely recommend.
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on 1 January 2016
bit American, but good things to try with children. I have adapted it a little to fit with a 5yr old British boy and we are getting along great with it. He even quotes things back to me! So, he's definitely taking it in. If I shout, he tells me "I know a secret, the only thing that makes you angry is you" We have shared some insights that we may not have got to if it wasn't prompted by the book. Its not a "lovely touchy feelie" book. My son if gifted beyond gifted in some areas (from his teachers) but is on the SEN register for behavioural problems. I want to help him to not be written off with a label. Its practical and has exercises to develop ideas and get to the truth. I like it, my son likes it = it was a good buy.
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on 4 November 2010
I was recommend this book by a friend and am really pleased with it. My husband is in the Army and frequently goes away and my 7 year old son find this difficult to deal with. He was always getting angry and lashing out. When this book arrived we sat down together and read through the first 2 chapters together and worked through the exercises. They were easy to discuss with him and he enjoyed working through the book, often asking to work through the next chapter. It gave us helpful tips on how to control his anger and how to change his thinking to stop him getting angry. would really recommend this book to children who find it hard to express themselves, it is also helpful to the parent aswell.
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on 6 December 2012
My 11 yr old and I read this together each evening and we loved it. It was full of easy to understand examples of when you may feel angry or upset and also great tips on how to deal with it. My son thought it was great and found it helped him as he could relate to all the the examples and talked through the times that he feels angry.
I would thoroughly recommend this book for children of this age and slightly younger. Even though other reviewers have suggested it's good for age 6+, I really don't feel they would get the maximum out of it. It needs to be read with an adult to help the child to understand how to take a deep breath and work out for themselves what really matters and if it's worth getting upset about. One of the best books I've read.
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on 12 December 2012
This was bought to help my grandson overcome his trials and tribulations at school, along with 3 other books which we hope will help him out. I know he is trying to read the books as I saw them on his bed yesterday, and we talked about the bullies and fairweather friends.
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on 22 January 2012
The early indications are that this book is proving very helpful in assisting children to understand the futility of anger and helps them adopt alternative attitudes to achieving what they want. The car parallels struck a chord with my grandson and so far I think that this is a very useful book as a starter for children of this age to develop social learning skills.
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VINE VOICEon 29 June 2010
This is a self-help book for any child who keeps losing their temper. There is great guidance on ways to deal with situations, how to look at things differently and find solutions and - excellent - how to move on! There are brilliant bits where your child draws and writes their own ideas into the book . My 8-year-old loved this aspect. Some of it is a bit information overload, but I think you have to pick and choose from the coping strategies offered and help your child to focus on what works for them. We read the book together and I learned a lot! I am changing my ways too and trying to remember to 'drop the prickly ball'...! I would definitely recommend this book.
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on 12 February 2015
Recommended by consultant for child with aspergers. Useful strategies in the book and written in a child friendly (up to about age 10) way.
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