Having personal cause to re-read after five years, this is certainly the 'best' ie most accessible and showing-not-telling relationship book I've ever read (and I've read a lot!) Early on, the co-authors claim that what attracts inevitably starts to irritate, makes this 'normal', not 'just me'. Looking into this painful truth more and more deeply, the 'work' carries choice, which feels liberating. I've just bought this book as a present for a close friend, and would like to slip it into my (adult 'n married) children's Xmas stockings..!
A very welcome book on the reality of post romantic long term relationships. Nick Duffell explored clearly and in an accessible way , the courage to look at one's own stuff and to be honest with oneself and one's spouse. Mutual acceptance as well as understanding were major goals to a happier existence rather than holding on to unreal expectations. Sheila davis COSRT.BACP. Relationship therapist
Read this book 9 years ago during a relationship difficulty and it made total sense to both my husband and I as it helped normalise some of our experience. This is an updated version and will read it again. Would recommend it to any couple struggling in a committed relationship.
Why? Well ok, if you have no plans on being in an intimate relationship, then I 'might' say fair enough, no need to read it. But for the vast majority of us who struggle one way and another to find, make work and keep a successful relationship with an intimate 'other', then this book is essential reading.
There are many books which give guidance on how to have good relationships, but all too few which give real insight into the inevitability of relationship breakdown, and why this can and should be seen a good thing (though it equally inevitably won't feel like that).
As a therapist I have personally found the wisdom contained in this book useful, it's openness and accessibility refreshing and frequently recommend it to my clients, both individuals and couples. If you are a therapist, then this is a great book to give your clients a frame of reference to what is going on in their relationship, and if you aren't a therapist, then I recommend you just read it for yourself.