Excellent book, well written, helpful, plenty of Ah ha moments for me. I genuinely feel calmer about my circumstances and less angry about my choices. Less ashamed, less guilt driven. It might very well change my life. But only time will tell!
This is a very good book in describing the issue of co dependency in relation to addictive substances like alchohol and drugs but it does not go into the issue of personality disorders and their effect on the families. I would therefore recommend "The Human Magnet syndrome" as further down the road to understanding the issues involved. Co dependency is more about personality disorders than addictions.
Still the best book on Codependency. I first read it in 1999 with a shock of self-recognition. It's not exaggerating to say it changed my life. Now I am rereading it as my codependency is making my life a misery. Melody Beattie's insights are based on personal experience as well as therapeutic experience. Maybe that's why this book speaks to the heart not just the head. Awareness of codependency emerged from work with families of alcoholics and addicts but as the author points out, codependency is broader and more diffuse. It can arise from a range of situations such as having criminal offspring or growing up with needy and dysfunctional parents. The book helps you move beyond the craziness of trying to control others and take charge of what we do have power over: our own emotional wellbeing. It gave me the confidence that I can recover. If you find yourself living for or through others or taking on others' needs rather than looking after your own, this is the place to find help.
What can I say if you think you are responsible for an alcoholic read this book. It explains how you can best help them by helping yourself. It sets you free from the guilt and responsibility that you wrongly think is yours alone. It also helped my sanity as I felt I was going crazy and that my existence was just here to look after everybody else and not myself. If you can't see a way out get this book!!!!
I'd read some rave reviews about this book and it's ok, giving some reasonable advice. My main issue with it is that the author, throughout the book, says about turning to God and putting your trust in him (or her, if you prefer!) which doesn't sit too well with me. I don't believe in him (or her) so that really doesn't help me too much at all when they give a plan of action which involves putting your faith in him.