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on 1 September 2015
My verdict;
Very good book, well written, easy to read (as in, not complicated) but very challenging personally and emotionally. Provides a good insightand feel of what Borderline Personality Disorder is, how it affects people, how it's typically caused, how you can begin unravelling the underlying issues which cause it.

What this is/does;
- It is a commentary of all the features of Borderline Personality Disorder. Each chapter has a theme; i.e. Borderline as a self defense mechanism, Self punishment as fear, ..etc. This theme is discussed along with case studies of how that chapters issue can manifest itself.
- About half of the content is written as though TO someone with Borderline (e.g. "If you are Borderline you may feel.. " "This may be the result of your...") Therefore it may help you identify with your own symptoms
- It gives a mixture of perspective from psychological, counselling and clinical psychiatric practice, but without lots of jargon or detailed theory, simply tells you how it is
- One case is followed from beginning to conclusion in blocks throughout, and gives a good example of full-on Borderline issues

For me as I read I began to understand the features and challenges of Borderline, and with that could begin to understand these traits and qualities in others.

The style;
- The voice of the text is like speaking to a psychiatrist or GP; it's precise, polite, but clinical - not unfeeling, but not emotive either. It just states how things are

What this is not;
- It's not a self help guide, there are no 'try this' lists, you have to come up with your own approaches from the understanding presented in the text
- It's not a treatment prospectus either. The authors view is simply 'treat the patient, not their symptoms' - i.e. don't get caught up in trying to apply out of the box solutions, understand the particular issues the patient is experiencing (they can be complex multi-faceted) and approach accordingly.
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on 13 February 2011
This is a "sexy" look at what it is to be BPD. But for me, that's this book's strength. It takes a very hard to understand illness & presents it in a form that everyone can relate to. As many others have said, I felt like I was reading a book about myself. A book about what it is to live in my head, in my world. It's clear this guy has spent A LOT of time with us borderlines & understands our world very well.

I have two issues with this book: Firstly, the fictional case study which runs through the book drove me INSANE. At times, I felt the writer was trying out his skills as a novelist & seemed almost self indulgent in his presentation of this fictional patient. I ended up skipping these bits by the end.

My second issue was the way in which he seemed to skirt over some aspects of the disorder & give them a cursory nod at best. I suffer from chronic dissociation, which often renders me utterly unable to connect with the real world. I also suffer from auditory hallucinations when I'm under pressure. I felt that some of the diagnostic criteria, such as this one, were rushed through in order to focus on the "sexier", headline grabbing aspects of the disorder such as drink, drugs & sex. There's a lot more to being BPD than self harming & I would've liked a more even focus on the symptoms.

All in all though, I'm very glad I read it & wouldn't hesitate to recommend it. I've leant it to many of my BPD friends who've all got a lot out of reading it.
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on 19 March 2017
this book saved my life from bpd girlfriend
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on 18 April 2015
helpful for people struggling with bpd AND their family
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on 11 May 2014
As a sufferer of bpd this book was invaluable for me. To see from the outside how my behaviour effects other people....but also now I'm not Aline in being a bpd sufferers.

I highly recommend this for sufferers but also friends, families too to help you understand we don't do things just to annoy you. Also it helps friend s and families see what they can do to help.

One of the best books on personality disorder
I also recommend "i hate you, please dont leave me"
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on 6 October 2014
Excellent read. Insightful from the therapists perspective and his patents. i.e. The levels of awareness a therapist must have of their own lives and choices to be able to engage with the trauma of their patent/client and support them heal. A great read for anyone embarking on therapy who perceives they may be lost/searching etc. There is a fine line between being aware of the mirror and having no awareness. Different therapeutic methods are needed for the treatment of both. Insightful to read and explore personally where habits can be self destructive.
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on 13 January 2016
Very boring and confusing book. I have been diagnosed with this and can't say I feel such things or in that severy capacity as the people/patients described in the book.. I didn't feel it helped me much to understand whats going on.. although I hope others might.
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on 14 August 2005
Having read this book I finally left behind the feeling of being alone in my thoughts and fears. I had been Diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder 6 months befroe reading this book and it gave me a great insight into myself and comfort. I highly recomend anyone who has borderline Personality Disorder or who is trying to support someone with BPD to read this book. It is an easy and intersting read which isn't full of medical jargon and will without a doubt bring the reader a little clarity if not more
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on 16 March 2002
I am the webowner of "Borderline Personality Disorder Sanctuary". I myself have been diagnosed with the borderline personality disorder (BPD) and as a result have lived most of my life crisis-oriented; experiencing a great deal of emotional pain.
I tried everything imaginable to get better and yet nothing worked. My family sat down with me for long periods of time trying to get through to me. I went to many different counselors looking for some way out of this nightmare that I lived.
As I listened to everyone it was like they were on a different planet speaking a different language. No one could understand me.
Finally I got a copy of Dr. Moskovitz's book "Lost in the Mirror." I sat down and cried shortly into the first chapter. It was the very first time that someone understood me and not only that, it was as if the author had his arm around me through the entire book.
Lost in the Mirror is so beautifully and gently written and it was also the first time that I realized that I was not miserable because I was a bad person which is what I had always thought.
The magic of "Lost in the Mirror" is the mixture of the tremendous clinical experience and knowledge the author has (he is up to date with the research), with his very gentle, warm and caring personality.
People come to me all the time asking what book I recommend for consumers and "Lost in the Mirror" is it. In fact, it is also an excellent book to assist families in understanding the borderline their lives. I have heard from many family members how helpful this book has been for them.
Dr. Moskovitz brings you right up to date with his second edition in regards to treatment. He discusses the latest about psychotropic medication, EMDR and DBT.
As the webmaster of BPD Sanctuary since 1996, a person who has studied the research myself, someone who has spoken to many BPD specialists, to many borderlines and families in cyberspace, and a consumer myself, this is my most recommended book for consumers.
It is important to know that the BPD is treatable and that you can get better. I no longer meet the criteria for the BPD.
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on 25 November 2006
This book has provided me with a clarity that I never thought possible for such a complex disorder as BPD. Written sensitively, thoroughly and with the genuine care of a therapist who has clearly seen and experienced the full extent of what people with this condition truly face. A genuine read that will I'm sure inform, reassure and guide you - well I hope it will for you - it certainly did for me...
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