Top positive review
4 people found this helpful
As with all good advice, many things will sound familiar
on 20 March 2016
I learnt much about life from this book. There are a number of popular theories and systems out there that many people pay a lot of attention to. Myers Briggs, NLP are two that spring to mind, and this book is based on another: Transactional Analysis.
All of these models and systems are open to interpretation and criticism and my personal opinion is to keep an open mind and don't believe everything you read. That aside, I found many aspects of this book interesting, especially being a parent.
The idea that children pick a character from a very young age to identify with, and then follow some kind of script based on these early beliefs for the rest of their lives is a real eye opener - what if they pick a hopeless, helpless or troubled character? It certainly makes you think about why people seem to get into the same kinds of situations over and over again, and more importantly, what experiences your young children are having right now.
As with all good advice, many things will sound familiar, but having them spelt out is a useful tool to be able to recognise them more easily.
In the book, "Discounting" can be read as ignoring, but it is far more subtle than I thought: a child (or adult) says something, and the respondent comes back with a lame or bulls*** answer without actually listening or acknowledging the point. I notice it all the time now. A child is accused of being difficult or misbehaving because he/she has lost/broken something, whilst the parent says "don't cry, I'll get you a better one". In reality, the child is genuinely and understandably upset, yet the parent doesn't care about the loss, and just wants to shut the child up. I've made this mistake myself, but after reading this book I became much more aware.
The book goes much deeper into other types of discounting and much more and it may lead to addiction, madness or depression. Again accept or reject, but I'm sure you'll find it interesting either way.