on 7 May 2002
This book draws a clear line between divorce and the quality of parenting afterwards, showing that it is the latter that will affect how your children thrive. It is a sound manual full of well-founded advice on how to take responsibility for your role and parent your children successfully, even if your ex is unco-operative or undermines you. It encourages parents to act like grown-ups where the children are concerned and gives you tools to shield them from the worst of the situation.
The book provides lots of information on the issues affecting different age-groups and genders, without resorting to stereotype. Unlike a lot of books, it is equally applicable to fathers and mothers and although written by an American, works well for UK parents. Although it refers to marriage and divorce throughout, it is about parenting after any break-up.
As a woman with two mother-fixated pre-schoolers, I have found the book really useful in clarifying why their father's role is so important and how I can get the best out of his (not altogether responsible or pro-active) parenting style.
Expensive, worth every penny, thoroughly recommended.
on 17 September 2006
My ex-wife and I purchased and read this book at the earliest stages of divorce proceedings, as soon as one of us had decided to get a divorce.
We had numerous questions and concerns about our kids and were both in a state of mental confusion and disarray, partly fuelled by preconceptions as to the "necessarily" disastrous effect of divorce on children.
This amazing book set about clearing the air and the record, and gave us tremendous confidence that by doing things in the right way, our kids could come through the divorce unscathed and perhaps even happier than they were before.
We made the (considerable) effort to follow the guidelines closely and the results were amazing. Our kids showed text book responses when told the news, and by planning things properly we were able to respond effectively, and our kids have accepted the new situation practically with equanimity.
I cannot recommend the book highly enough - it should be mandatory reading for all divorcing couples. In fact, I was sorry that I had not read it at the start of my marriage, as the book also contains a lot of insight that would have been useful for the marriage itself.