on 25 May 2007
I have read many books about parenting but they were all focused on the child's behaviour and how to deal with it, unsuccessfully. This book was a total eye opener: it focuses on you as a parent and how it is your own emotions and reactions to your child's behaviour "that pushes your buttons". It totally changed my perception: if my child is having a tantrum he is HAVING a problem, he is NOT BEING a problem. My job as a parent is to identify the root of that problem without getting emotionally involved and to help the child solve his problem. Bonnie Harris teaches you to recognise how your behvaiour is rooted in your own child hood and how the beliefs and standards you grew up with determine your parenting even if you vowed to do excatly the opposite of what your parents did. This is a must read for every parent, including the ones who had a happy child hood and good relationship with their parents!
on 21 October 2009
I wished I'd read this book earlier, could have helped me years ago. I own loads of parenting books. E.g. positive parenting etc. but they all deal with children's behaviour as if the child is the problem. This book deals with the parent and encourage us to understand ourselves and our child. Makes load of sense to me ! It is not an easy book to read (not literary) as I found it very painful when I realised the mistakes that I have been continually making. The book has short exercises at the end of some chapters for the reader (parent) to complete which is necessary else it would not be very effective to tackle the deep rooted underlying problems. The best parenting book so far!!!!
on 15 June 2012
I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for fresh, insightful and compassionate parenting ideas. After reading a number of other parenting books, Bonnie Harris' `When Your Kids Push Your Buttons' has helped me understand how much my own feelings, expectations and experiences as a child affect how I judge and deal with my strong-willed child's behaviour. I've found this to be crucial in building my confidence as a parent, and strengthening the relationship I have with my child. If you are looking for a book which offers a hopeful and empowering approach to parenting, you must not miss this one!