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4.8 out of 5 stars
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4.8 out of 5 stars
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on 9 April 2006
I love this book, it really gave me the confidence to parent in my own way and to follow my instincts. From day one, my baby had decided she was not going to sleep in a cot, no way, she screamed the place down every time i tried to put her in her plastic crib in the hospital. I don't think she had absorbed a word of the Gina Ford book I read whilst pregnant and had arrived with her own ideas firmly in place.
After reading this book I just got on with co sleeping and enjoyed it. At about 8 mths she went into her cot, right next to my bed, without any upset. This is working well for us. But if she wants to she comes in with me.
All parents should read it, even if just to balance their views.
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on 4 September 2009
Like many other new mothers, I have ended up sharing a bed with my son (now 12 weeks) out of exhaustion in the middle of the night. And, like many other mothers, I find few things more wonderful than waking up next to him. It was fantastic to find a book which told me that it was beneficial to do this; I am at a loss as to why co-sleeping is quite so frowned upon, as it is a very natural thing to do.

That said, the book does go too far in places. Ideas such as the reason why the US and Russia are the most aggressive nations on earth (it's a little out-dated) is because it is in these countries where co-sleeping rates are lowest, demonstrate that the book's agenda is clear, and not quite as scientifically based as it appears. I expect that most members of the Taliban slept in their parents' beds as that's what happens in Central Asia - and look how they turned out!

I also think that there is far more to bringing up happy, confident children than co-sleeping, whereas both the book and other reviewers seem to think that co-sleeping guarantees this. I was left to cry as a baby, as was my husband, as that was what our mothers thought was best in the mid-1970s. However, we are both happy, secure and independent people, and apart from a couple of blips as teenages, always have been. We both have wonderful parents whose love was unending and unquestioned, and who always treated us fairly and with respect.

Finally, the book doesn't really deal with day time napping. My son sleeps brilliantly in a sling (Tinokis, an Isreaeli brand - fantastic) and I love love love carrying him around. However, I can't carry him all the time, as the book advocates. It's just not practical given our current lifestyles where, rightly or wrongly, we have so much else to deal with on a daily basis. It might be different if we were part of a jungle community somewhere and didn't have homes to run, and jobs away from the home to return to at some stage. And, twelve weeks in, I really do need a bit of time without my son strapped to me, but this book makes me feel that I might fail as a parent for encouraging my son to sleep on his own.

At the end of the day, the message that physical touch etc is a necessary thing for a new baby is a good one, and, when I can, I carry my son instead of putting him in his buggy. But, if you feel you can't do as the book suggests, then please remember that there are many other very important aspects of raising happy kids, and co-sleeping is not the be all and end all.
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on 18 October 2009
This book should be available to all expectant parents. In an age where medical adivice can be overwhelming, and contradictory this book gives us information about a more intuitive way to parenting.
It opens up the possibility of a more nurturing, natural way for you and your baby.
Reading this book allowed me to trust my instincts, to reaslise that humans have been having babies for their entire history and that actually, sleeping right next to mummy and daddy is the safest, most emotionally secure place for baby to be. It explains the benefits to both parents and baby; explains how natural it is to sleep next to each other and how safe it can be.
I co-slept with two out of three of my children, I can not put into words how I so wish I had read this book before I'd had my first baby. It saddens me to realise how much we both lost as a result of not having known how safe co-sleeping is.

Do yourself, your children and your heart a favour, read this book and make a more informed choice about co-sleeping.
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on 12 April 2005
I wish that this book could be given to all pregnant women and new mothers. I have had my daughter (now almost a year old) in bed with me since the day she was born and it has been one of the best things I've ever done. There is nothing better than feeling your precious baby next to your body at night. My husband also loves having her in the bed! And we have not suffered from the sleep deprivation that "normal" parents do because we never have to get up to feed her or even wake up fully. Deborah Jackson's book gave me the permission to follow my instincts and encouragement when the pressures of western society make me feel I was doing the wrong thing. I would recommend this book to any parent.
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on 26 January 2005
My baby is 5 months old. It was actually the nurse who came to visit every day after she was born who told us that it would be ok to let her sleep in bed with us. We had no preconceived plan, but had instinctively put bedsharing into practice mainly because I was to lazy to get up 10 times in the night during the first days and weeks. There is no question that this works. She sleeps very well and is a very happy and calm baby. However there is no need to follow this practice like a religion. Our baby sleeps some nights entirely in her cot in our room - other nights she sleeps with us - and she sleeps alone outside (a Nordic practice!) during the day. She gets a great deal of attention but by no means do I carry her around all the time. I find some of the ideas of the book a bit far fetched, behaviourist, and "new age" and sometimes a bit too prescriptive, despite the authors best efforts not to be. Nevertheless I think that she is basically right and if it takes this book to convince parents and give them confidence it is a good thing.
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on 22 August 2006
It's not only a fascinating read, it works. Our 15-year-old "3-in-a-bed" baby just boarded a plane to London to stay with a friend for a few days. He's the most grounded, stable, un-demanding, independent and thoughtful human I know. KS
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on 19 March 2007
What a magnificant book!

Every parent should read it.

I always knew that I should sleep with my baby and breast feed when wanted, but got caught up in the whole Gina Ford crap...

...never leave your baby to cry.

Read this book and you'll know why.

D. Jackson reminds you to follow your instincts and what your body and baby is telling you.
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on 10 May 2015
Three in a bed is a wonderful book about the benefits of bed sharing and physical closeness with your baby. I practiced the contents of this book with all three children (now adults) and am now buying the book again to pass on to my closest young friend who is about to adopt. If you are in any doubt about the benefits of bed sharing but want to develop secure attachment with your baby, then at least have a look at the ideas proposed in this book. There are two aspects of my parenting through the first years of my babies lives that I feel wholeheartedly good about - breastfeeding and bed sharing. And both were wonderful experiences I feel priviledged to have known.
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on 28 December 2003
I borrowed the book from a friend and FINALLY I felt great that I did not need to hide the fact anymore that I do and did cosleep with my children.
My youngest is 13 months old and is sleeping in our big bed with my husband and me. My husband does not even notice when the little one wakes for a night feed, and I barely open my eyes. As long as I am in bed by 11pm and fall asleep by 12.30, I am fresh during the day for work and hoUsework.
My 2 big kids are 10 an 12 an have coslept with me until the younger one of them turned 1 and a half. Then I moved them both out into a room together. Yes, it was a bit tricky for us all for a week or two, but then it turned out just fine.
My children are selfconfident and independent, and it is total nonsens to say that cosleeping children never become independant and detached from their parents. I myself had slept with my parents in the same room until I was six and I have never lacked selfconfidence.
This book is a must for every mother doubting her maternal instincts and a support for every family wanting the best fo their baby and family relations.
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on 12 January 2010
When I brought my daughter home from the hospital I tried to put her in a crib after each feed only for her to wake and start crying. I didn't sleep for three nights. By the forth night, utterly exhausted I fell asleep with her in bed with me and she slept soundly. I felt a huge amount of guilt about sleeping with her as it is so frowned on. I didn't tell anybody until I read this book. It gave me a massive amount of confidence to follow my own instincts. This book completely changed my atitude about looking after a baby and I can't thank the author enough.

My daughter fed every 2 hours day and night for the first 8 weeks and co-sleeping meant I felt fine in the day. I didn't have any of the normal complaints about screaming babies at night time. It was a joy and still is.

At 12 weeks I decided to start a bedtime routine and she started to sleep in her cot. The transition went so smoothly. She is 4 months old now and still has one night time feed which I often do in bed and co-sleep until morning.

I still got the frowns when I told people about co-sleeping but this book gave me the confidence to admit to it and argue its benefits. I can't recommend this book highly enough to new mums. Go with your insticts.
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