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Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars

on 3 April 2011
I've been bullied by my supervisor since I started my current job, more than 2 years and a half ago. Because of redundancies in my company, I can't complain to our managers or to HR about the bullying, even though it's turned to mobbing over the past 2 years, with my young British colleagues blaming 'stupid' foreigners like me for youth unemployment in the UK.
The bullying has really damaged me psychologically and at times it turns me into a person I don't want to be: someone who snaps back when provoked, instead of ignoring evil people; someone who has difficulty getting up in the morning, even at the weekend (when I used to do sports...); someone who feels so low in the evening that they will just watch a movie or browse the internet aimlessly, instead of learning a new language, or taking a professional course; someone who feels so worthless that they feel unable ever to land another job.
I found this little book at the library 1 year ago, by pure chance, and although I knew I was being bullied, it was still an opener, as it described how I initially let myself coerced into taking more and more work (usually 'all the crappy jobs nobody else wants to do', in my supervisor's own words) and doing more and more overtime, and agreed to stop wearing suits and 'posh' shoes, all in an effort to try and placate my bully. It didn't work at all: the more 'perfect' I was, the more intense the bullying was. In fact, since my work was too good for her to have me fired, she graduated from criticising everything I did or didn't do, to destroying important documents (e.g. recorded deliveries) and accusing me of having lost them (a bit like in 'Philadelphia Story').
I try to put in practice some of the advice in that book, such as find allies against the bully inside the company or the department (not very successful as the people who would be potential allies have been targetted by my supervisor in the past, and told me they didn't want to complain because they were afraid of losing their job); talking to other people outside work (who can reassure me I'm not worthless); doing physical exercise after work and at the weekend to try and 'let off steam'; find other interests which can take your mind off work (so that you don't spend your weekend or evenings ruminating the bad events of the week); and most useful of all, keeping a daily log of the bullying events (including little things like colleague 'slamming' - as if she were trying to break the table - a pile of documents on your desk, right on your hand - ouch! - and on the documents you're entering data from), to try and gather evidence if ever you should have to take your case to court. Another good advice is 'don't leave your job unless you have another job to go to', especially in the current jobmarket.
I haven't found a new job yet but fingers crossed, I'll find one by the summer.
14 people found this helpful
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on 13 July 2014
after going through a horrible experience at work from a female manager the book taught me how to tell them to stop, make them listen and deal with them
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on 22 September 2008
Bullies aren't just in the schoolyard - the workplace has plenty of them, too. On-the-job bullies are common to some occupations and stressful corporate cultures. Author Lorenza Clifford, a British career coach with a master's degree in organizational psychology, has put together a short, to-the-point guide to help readers deal with bullying. She highlights some warning signs that a bully may be on the loose in your workplace, cites danger periods when bullying tends to increase and lists some behavioral symptoms victims display. Her common-sense advice and checklists help victims understand what makes a bully behave like one, why bullies are picking on you, who to turn to for help and support, how to take action, and how to rebuild your confidence. Nipping offensive behavior in the bud is the best way to squelch bullying. Sometimes the healthiest option is to seek employment elsewhere. Although written from the standpoint of U.K. law, this book is widely applicable. //getAbstract //believes it can benefit anyone who wants to craft healthy workplace policies, help an employee who is being victimized or avoid being a target.
11 people found this helpful
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on 18 February 2015
i left work before anything was done but i am a better person than them i had the surport and love of my loving family dont let bullies destroy your life.
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