on 28 March 1999
I bought this book when my wound from being dumped was still very fresh and bleeding. If you've had quite a few boyfriends and this break-up hasn't put you in shock, then you will find this clever book humorous and helpful. If you've been painfully dumped or lost the man of your dreams, I'd read another book for right now. I'm so glad women write inspiring books for other women. I wish all women who are in relationship problems and break-ups plenty of sunshine.
on 14 November 2004
"By now you're wondering what makes me such an expert. Well, let's just say that if this book were called HOW TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS LAST, it would have to be plagiarized; the average magazine subscription lasts twice as long as most of my relationships. Getting over guys - *that's* where I'm experienced. I've dated them all...Many of my ex-boyfriends, in fact, could star in my private version of SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS, with the dwarfs being Dopey, Jerky, Crappy, Sleazy, Sneaky, Woeful, and Cheap."
- from the introduction
If you're looking for a book to help you with a detailed procedure for heavyweight matters, such as negotiating child custody, dealing with ex-in-laws and mutual friends, selling a house you bought with your ex when you're not speaking, or dealing with general financial tangles - this book isn't for that. (See above; the author hasn't had those kinds of relationships. She did collect lots of juicy stories from others to add to her own, though.)
*This* author addresses a lot of little things instead, such as:
- Movies, music, and books to seek out to feel better (and others to avoid like the plague)
- Tricks to keep from making a fool of yourself in front of the ex
- Self-help books (Not unless you want to waste a lot of time being convinced that you're codependent/depressive/psychotic/etc.)
- Dealing with stuff (expensive gifts, loaned items, etc.) (As the author points out, it took her a lot longer to get over the loss of her air conditioner than it did to get over the Ex who refused to give it back.)
- Dealing with stuff that reminds you of the Ex (letters, photographs, souvenirs)
- "Why can't we be friends?" (Lots of reasons, since you ask. One game you can play after reading this section: classifying Exs who tried this tactic as Egotist/Emotional Cripple/Martyr/Saint/Wimp, or combinations of same)
- rebound dates (who'll make you appreciate staying home with grandma)
- when they come crawling back into your life, just when you're finally over them
I think it's a lot easier for many people to get angry about all the little things than about the stuff that *really* hurt (I think the pop psych term for that is "displacement activity"), so a lot of time and energy can get wasted on nonsense. How many people's buttons can be pushed *instantly* to tell the tale of how the Ex walked off with their favourite DVDs (fill in the blank here) whenever they see a copy of some particular movie? (And I'm thinking of one of my *male* acquaintances here. While the book is written for a female audience coping with lousy ex-boyfriends, some ex qualities appear to transcend gender.)
If you've just gone through a breakup, you could probably use a good laugh. This is good for that. For one thing, you (I hope) can feel relieved that at least *your* ex didn't pull some of the stuff the real bozos mentioned in this book did:
- cleaning out your checking account (you'd miss your credit rating more than you'd miss him)
- standing you up on Valentine's Day without even a card
- two words: cubic zirconia
She's even got some real exorcism rituals to take your mind off things, and some fair-to-middling advice on pulling yourself together - but if that's not your thing, you can always go for her Yoo-Hoo diet plan instead.
on 12 November 1998
This is the perfect book for when you're tired of crying and ready to laugh. Elizabeth Kuster helps put breakups in their proper perspective. Since I first read her book more than 2 years ago, I've probably bought at least 5 more copies to give to friends. I have two copies on my bookshelf right now - I haven't needed to refer to them for awhile, but just knowing they're on hand for me or the next person is peace of mind. I can't wait for her next book, no matter the topic!
on 3 July 1999
This book had me laughing out loud - I read it while on the treadmill at the gym, and I'm sure people thought I was nuts. Kuster just has such a dry, blunt and accurate picture of the life a woman recovering from yet another ended relationship. The scary thing is that you can identify with a LOT of the scenarios and types of people (men) she discusses. I recommend this book for any woman who has EVER had a relationship end (IE, all women)!
on 21 August 1998
This a wonderful book. A must for all women who are going through "post breakup syndrome". This will make the pain much easier. Also highly recommended to those women that have ever experienced it. Which basically means ALL WOMEN! I loved it! I was laughing, crying, remembering all throughout the book. Buy it, you won't regret it!