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on 12 March 2017
Great book to read if you break up with someone
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on 26 February 2010
Very helpful, with scientifically proven approach.
At the end of the book you will not remember the name or the face of the person who left you in a state of shock.
Simply just second to none.
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on 30 July 2014
Heyy. I ordered this book for next day delivery because I was in so much pain I wanted to kill myself. When it arrived I put a whole day aside to reading it, and it's great. The CD is so relaxing and is so well recorded. It's too early to tell whether it's helped or not yet but all I know is it is relaxing and a very good hypnosis CD.

What is good as that as soon as you begin reading, I felt that someone understood how I felt, even the ridiculous and embarrassing parts like secretly not wanting to let go even if they've hurt you, and being devastated over someone you've only been with for a few months (he says it's because of how strong our feelings were and how much we'd mentally planned our futures with them, rather than the length of the relationship). So it made me see my most embarrassing feelings were normal. There are a lot of EXCellent exercises in this book. A lot of it is NLP and visualisation based. personally I am not good at visualising so I can't seem to get the reimagining the ex exercises to do much for me- however after doing the 'positive intention' exercise I realised that this is probably because part of me doesn't want to forget how he looks like (he's jaw-dropingly good looking), and that's okay, as long as I do the other exercises. I found three of them in particular were really relevant to me, and by going through them slowly and in depth the suicidal feeling has disappeared. I need to get some things sorted in my real life and finish the book and do the exercises few more times, plus listen to the CD some more times, before I can fully review the book, but for the moment I think it's been amazing.

I will update my review when I am done

**UPDATE 13.08.2013**
Hi! I worked with the book a bit more and wow!!! I didn't do or focus on all of it; certain chapters and exercises will be more relevant to you than others. For me, the Reframing perspectives and Positive intention exercises were particularly helpful and so I practised these a few times. I felt SO much better!! I started thinking about life with someone ohter than my ex because as much as I love him (I thought he was my soulmate and I literally have never, ever felt like that about anyone before) he has treated me appallingly and hurt me deeply. So I just think now, unless he does a 180 and changes his personality I don't want him anywhere near me, spoiling my future and potential future happiness. I am now excited to meet someone much better than him, and when that happens I will come back and update my review again!

I just want to say that although this book was great, I still had to have a single session with a therapist.However this wasn't because the book wasn't enough; it was because I personally don't really 'get' things by myself and learn much better via conversation with other people. The therapist said pretty much exactl the same as what was in Paul and Hugh's exercises and for me it was the final confirmation (hearing an impartial 3rd party saying it out-loud) I needed to feel better about what happened.

I was so impressed that I got his other book Change Your Lifein 7 Days and I'm working through that now..it's brilliant! Because of the "finding the positive intnetion" exercise in both these books I took the big decision to hire a life coach and I start working with her today because I realised the reason I couldn't move on was because my life needed a drastic makeover. I will update this review an my CYLI7D review later on after I've progressed more
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on 23 June 2014
I was left heartbroken after a 4.5 year relationship broke down suddenly, and for me unexpectedly. Like many of you I read the reviews of this book first, it all seemed to good to be true. I thought to myself, "well, for the money - even if it helps in the smallest way, this has to be worth while." Fast forward to the weekend the book arrived, I sat down and read it cover to cover, and tried all of the exercises at least once. I felt better almost immediately, it is still sad that the relationship ended, but I now have a better understanding of why this happened, and why I felt the way I felt, and how I could stop feeling that way. Understanding something takes the fear out of it, and relieving that fear has made a huge difference to how I felt.

The book covers just about ever aspect of how a break up effects you on an emotional level, and gives you ways to help put you back on the right track. I now genuinely feel that I will go on to have stronger and better relationships following this one, but only once I am ready.

If you are considering it, just go for it - for less than 2 pints of beer you could buy yourself some serious peace of mind.
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on 8 April 2016
If you have just had your heart broken and are in bits you need to read this book!

Me and my fiancé were living together 5 years and he was my whole life and cheated on me and left me.
I felt rejected and unwanted and wanted him back so much so kept begging and could not except that it was over.
I spent Christmas day back in my parents house crying in my room in so much pain my heart actually hurt which I didn't think was possible.

This book is a good read and gives you helpful moving on with your life tips. The different exercises and tips are in sections and helps you to cope with the feeling of being rejected and unwanted and helps you also to understand a little bit why these things happen.
Helps you to understand that you don't need somebody to complete you and you will be ok on your own with the support of your family and friends.
This book also comes with a disk that gives you lovely music to listen to and make you feel calm and relaxed which is a bonus.
This book helped me so much and I'm not normally a reader but I'm glad I found it.

I can now go out of the house and enjoy my life with friends without being afraid of bumping into them.
Its helped me realise that I can hold my head up high and be a stronger person and that I don't need someone else to complete my life :)
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on 14 September 2005
If there is anyone out there who is suffering from a broken heart read this book asap!!
My fiance of 4 years and I recently broke up and I was extremely upset and heartbroken - I truly just wanted to give up and felt it would be better to die. I spent most days in an awful state crying and desperately trying to make him get back together with me, I just could not accept that it was over...so I came across this book and it has been like a bible to me! I still miss my ex and am not totally over him yet but I no longer waste time crying about it and I know that I really am better off without him (thanks to this book!). It taught me some amazing exercises that really have changed the way I feel about my ex and my sister is now reading it after her husband left her for another woman. Just read it, I promise it will help - do not give up! You don't need any man to make you whole, you are perfect by yourself :) xxxx
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on 7 February 2010
I had a serious heartbreak and have been getting better with time, but also a bit stuck. Stuck really with some past thoughts, to heal 100% and to move on really.

This book helps, walk you through ways to reprogramme your thoughts to a healthy less obsessive way. Definitely worth a read, it gave me ideas that have helped reduced my pain, in some cases in an instant. I'm usually cyncial about these types of things, it's not anything to do with hypnosis, but it walks you through trying to explain things and why you react or feel as you do. i.e. it gives answers.

E.g. sometimes the depth of your heartbreak is to do with the amount of your "future investment" you had made to that relationship, e.g. if you viewed it as a casual thing you'll heal a lot quicker than someone who thought they were to marry, have kids, and live the next 40 years with their partner, that person is highly likely to get stuck and take ages to heal. This helps accelerate your healing, so if you are the latter type I'd recommend this book definitely. If you are the former type you probably dont need it and are already moving on!
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on 15 April 2015
I bought this recently but after reading all the reviews feel a bit of a fraud as my relationship was only 6 months but it ripped my heart out at the time. The book is ok but I've been doing small things myself that are helping such as moving all the photos on my phone into a folder on my PC hard drive, gathering up all my special saved items such as a champagne cork and a rose and locking them in a box. They say that it takes you half the time of ur relationship to get over it and at nearly 3 months since he realised he didn't actually love me I'm well on my way to healing. Good luck people we all still have a beating heart and air in our lungs and in time we can find true love xx
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on 13 April 2008
After a 19 year relationship my partner tells me he wants to separate. For several weeks I was in a fog of misery, shock and I was terrified of a future without him. I was crying all the time, unable to sleep and having panic attacks - I had never experienced such a deep dark feeling. Reading this book gave me the first glimmer of light - listening to the CD gave me the first period of calm. It showed me that, although someone else had hurt me, it was I who was continuing to toture myself mentally, and that there are things I can do to break the cycle and recover from this awful event. It gave me a sense of empowerment, where I had felt so helpless. It is not a cure all, but I cannot recommend it highly enough - if you are broken hearted buy it! If you know someone whose heart has been broken - buy it for them!
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VINE VOICEon 29 May 2007
The best advice from Paul McKenna. I particularly like his approach because of his non sexist stance. This book takes a step by step approach to the all encompassing feelings one has following a break up with someone you really thought you loved. I like his suggestions of minimising the person in question everytime you think about them. Practical advice as to how to handle possible hurtful scenarios all dealt with thoughtfully and sensibly.
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