Top positive review
A good book if you are an ex-boarder and feel "different" to everyone else
8 November 2017
I am an ex-boarder pondering on how the experience has affected me in my adult life, I would recommend this book to any ex-boarder or anyone in a relationship with an ex-boarder. I recently went to a school reunion, my first return to the school in the thirty years since I left. I have hidden the fact that I went to public school and that I was a boarder for all my adult life.
There are many case studies in the book which bring the subject to life and give you a direct connection to your own experience. Most of the case studies were more extreme than mine but they all shed a light on aspects on how it had been for me. Some of the characteristics are not present in me (e.g. I have no issues with packing to go away on holiday, that doesn't remind me of packing for school) whereas others are part of me (e.g. Being very self-sufficient, it is of no surprise to me that I am self-employed after having been a boarder). At the end of the day all ex-boarders have one thing in common, their parents handed them over to people that they didn't really know, but trusted to look after them.
The language used (Bereavement, mourning, captivity, etc,...) did help me review the experience in a way that I felt was legitimate and not as a victim, rather a series of features that are bound to have an effect on someone.
If you are an ex-boarder then this book will make you see your experience in a more profound way and you might even remember things long since forgotten in a new way... For example, one evening a group of us boarders went carol singing down the long road from the school, in our uniforms of course. We eventually got to a Children's Care Home and sang there to little faces looking out at us, they gave us money. We were a group of institutionalised children face to face with a different group of children, both in forms of captivity. I wonder what they thought of us?