I lost my 36 year old husband 8 years ago to a sudden heart attack.This book is by far the best I have read about grief.I am somebody who responds well to hard hitting honesty.I can't stand platitudes and feel a rage well up inside of me when they are offered.I smile on the outside though.Virginia is realistic about grief and loss.She does not sugar coat the experience or try to wrap it up into neat little boxes.I can understand this book may be too brutal for some.I still pick it up from my book shelf when yet another person says "things happen for a reason"or "it was his path".Grrrrrr.Virginia doesn't attempt to provide any answers which is the book's great strength.It is not just Virginia's personal experience of grief in this book but also that of many others.I would urge anybody who has lost somebody to give it a chance .
I lost my husband in December 2014. His death was so sudden and unexpected. Like many others I've read a number of books on grief and bereavement, some good, some not for me. But this book turned out to be the best by far. Virginia Ironside describes the rage of grief that all other books describe as anger, which is a natural part of the grief process, but for me the word anger fell woefully short of how I felt. Rage is what I felt for a very long time. This book is such an honest account of what it feels like to lose a loved one - the shock, the searching for them, the well meaning but insensitive comments of others and how they judge you, the rage, the different ways each person grieves which is so unique to the relationship ended, and finally the search for meaning and rebuilding your life. I read this book in one sitting, I just couldn't put it down. I have a feeling I will keep going back to it from time to time.