on 4 September 2008
As a parent I've always been firmly in the Sears camp rather than the Gina camp, and this book seems to be considered as a sacred text by practically everyone I know with similar parenting styles. My 9 month old has been a poor sleeper from the start and so naturally I got hold of a copy. I do love the style of the book and it is indeed initially very reassuring. Unfortunately, it does seem very much geared to fixing specific sleep problems that relate to babies that are unable to fall asleep by themselves and hence need to be nursed or rocked again every time they wake. Unfortunately this doesn't apply to my baby, who wakes frequently despite being perfectly able to put himself to sleep quickly and easily initially. It also doesn't cover 'tension releasing' crying vs 'tension increasing' crying. After much agony I have discovered that my baby actually NEEDS to have a short cry in order to fall asleep. Now I understand that he actually needs to be put down awake to cry, he will be asleep in a few minutes, whereas previously with all of my 'loving' nursing, rocking and singing he would still be sobbing in exhaustion and hour later. If I'm honest I think I might have found this out sooner if I hadn't been brainwashed by all the attachment parenting books that letting your child cry practically was akin to abuse.
So, if you have a baby with the 'right' kind of problem, this might be the book for you. But as always, you need to remember that no one has written a book about YOUR baby yet.
on 8 July 2016
I bought this book when my son was 3 months old. At the time, I was having to breastfeed or rock him to sleep each night. Then with each night waking, breastfeed or rock him to sleep again. This was exhausting and hard work, especially as my husband could not help out (my son would not take a bottle).
He was a big baby and starting to get too big for his moses basket. I was worried about moving him into his cot because I would then not be able to rock him to sleep, and nursing him to sleep did not always work!
Using the recommendations and techniques in this book, within a few weeks I had developed a strong bed time routine that meant I could put my son down to sleep when he was tired but still awake. He would fidget for a bit then go to sleep by himself. I was no longer nursing or rocking him to sleep! He was still waking in the night (not unexpected for a 4 month old) but I would give him a quick feed then put him down to sleep while he was still awake. By the time he was 5 months old, he was sleeping through the night in his cot. No tears involved in the whole process and a happy baby and happy Mummy! He is now 16 months old and we are still using the same bed time routine and he is still sleeping (and napping) perfectly!
I would definitely recommend this book for anybody else who wants to help their child develop good sleeping habits without the need for crying.
We also bought the No-Cry Nap Solution which is brilliant too.
on 9 October 2003
This book deserves to be a huge bestseller, much moreso than some of those other 'baby manuals' written by 'experts'.Elizabeth Pantley writes with compassion and authority without ever seeming overbearing or autocratic.As the mother of four children, two of whom slept well, and two of whom didn't, she is infinitely qualified, in my view, to advise and support other parents. If, like me, you are reaching the end of your tether with a baby or toddler who just doesn't seem to understand that daytime is for feeding and nighttime is for sleeping I strongly urge you to read this book.
The most important aspect of this book is that it is written with the utmost respect for parents who desperately need some sleep,but who cannot bear the idea of making their baby 'cry it out'.If you feel there has to be another way, a gentler way to ease your baby and yourself to a more restful night, you have found it.
Equally, the author, as far as I can judge, has succeeded in speaking to each parent individually by carefully considering as many different styles of parenting as there are parents. So whether you breastfeed or bottlefeed, co-sleep, cot sleep or nursery sleep, Elizabeth Pantley has useful, workable, supportive solutions to severe sleep-deprivation. There is even a really encouraging section for parents like me, whose baby doesn't immediately start to sleep through. I found this really helpful, because it gave me the necessary encouragement to carry on trying the different suggestions and find one that suited us.
I cannot recommend this book highly enough.
on 6 March 2006
I have a 6 year old son, that had a lot of sleep problems for his first 2 years. I have a 5 month old son, that had hardly slept more than 1 hour at a time since birth. In other ways, they're perfect children that I love totally : ) I have had the advice of health service counsellers (that mostly advocated that they should cry it out... well, that did NOT work and it made me go nutty to listen to the poor wee things cry). I have a lot of experience in finding ways to help them sleep, and have been re-inventing the wheel a thousand times (because lots of what I do has been done by parents for thousands of years, it just doesn't seem that anybody bothers to put it down in writing). I have been reading many books about babies´ sleep, and mostly they made me more insecure, because they said either:
1. Cry it out (and I couldn't do it).
2. Endure it and love your baby (and I desperately needed a tiny bit of sleep).
They were also often so big that a sleep deprived parent had no way of reading through them.
But, there came a book, with such a good amount of good advice, some things that I'd done with success, other things I hadn't done, other things I'd done but as it takes a few days to see the result I'd given up before seeing the good result.
Now I've got the courage to do the right thing, and already my younger baby is sleeping MUCH better. I wholeheartedly, lovingly, desperately, truly reccommend this book. I wish I'd had it 2 weeks before my first baby was born, but at least I'm glad it will help me and my second baby now, and a big number of loving, sleep deprived parents out there : ) What a great gift this book is : )
on 16 July 2006
This book is an absolute life-saver and is perfect for anyone like myself, who does not want to use any sort of `cry it out' method to help their baby to sleep.
I was an exhausted mother of a 1 year old baby who would use breastfeeding as a means to help him sleep. He would wake sometimes up to 8 times a night leaving me completely exhausted wondering how I was going to get through the next day.
I was determined not to use any kind of `cry it out' method and had resigned myself to the fact that this was the way it was going to be. Fortunately, I stumbled across this book and within 6 weeks my baby was sleeping all night through and I felt fantastic!!
As clearly stated in the book the methods used do take time since they are not an overnight remedy. I decided to give myself 2 months. It was really hard work and for those 6 weeks I was even more tired than usual since the procedure used often had to repeated - but it was definitely worth it. We had very little success for the first month and I was becoming quite disheartened, worried that all this effort was going to be for nothing. Anyway, we somehow managed to stick to the plan and by the 5th week we started to see some dramatic improvement in the length of time my son slept between feeds. By the 6th week he was sleeping all night long. We still can't quite believe it.
The only advice I would give for anyone using the methods is to try and have lots of patience and try to remain really calm (easy to say - I know) at 2, 3, 4 o'clock in the morning. The first few weeks for us were really hard since progress was very slow - but I am very glad we stuck it out - it was really worth it.
Nowadays, when my baby sometimes wakes at night I pick him up for a quick cuddle and then lie him down (awake of course!) and as long as it isn't a teething problem he falls back to sleep himself, happily. Best of luck!
on 12 June 2013
Recently an article in the telegraph declared its ok to let your babies cry it out because it teaches them to self-soothe. I am a child psychologist and I despair when I see articles like that. As Elizabeth Pantley points out your own children will instinctively run to comfort a crying baby. Most parents hearts tell them to attend to a crying baby not leave it alone in the dark to figure out how to fall asleep! However most parents, myself include have felt in the desperation of sleep deprivation that they will do ANYTHING to get some sleep and if that means leaving them to cry then you might just try it! I implore you not to because there is another way thankfully and you don't have to put yourself and your baby through that terrible experience! This book is both compassionate and practical. It's even easy enough for the most sleep deprived among us to be able to follow! My baby started sleeping through a month after reading this and I only had to do a couple of modifications. The best thing was I didn't have to do anything I wasn't comfortable with and I felt finally someone was giving permission for me to feel that I could follow my instincts with my child! My own mother kept telling me I was too soft but this book restored my faith in my own intuition as a parent. I am very grateful for the restoration of sanity that this book brought!
on 25 February 2003
If you are looking for some sleep, BUY IT NOW!!! This book puts your baby's needs first, unlike the 'Cry it out' method. But, it also recognizes that Mommy needs rest too and tells you how to acheive that rest while still tending to the needs of your precious baby. No crying required (for Mommy or Baby)!!!
This book is the best thing I've come across. Like so many other Mothers, my baby was still waking all night long. In fact, my baby was waking every hour on the hour! And, he had to be nursed to/back to sleep for each and every nap and all night long. I don't have to tell you how tiring this was.
I did so much research and only saw 2 ways to deal with it, 'Cry it Out' and 'Live with it'. Well, that is untill some great mothers over at the Babycenter message boards recommended that I try this book. So, I gave it a shot. It was the best 11 bucks I have ever spent in my life!!!
Christopher is now sleeping from 8:30 pm until around 2:30 am! He goes to sleep at 6:30 pm and wakes for a 'milkie' at 8:30 pm. Then, he is out until 2:30 am!!! I know he wakes and settles himself several times during that 6 hour stretch. After the 2:30 am feeding, he is normally out till around 6:30 am!!!
Christopher is also sleeping in his crib now, which is beside my bed. I have only been using this sleep plan for 10 days and look at the success. The success started on the 3rd night. I started seeing him be able to sleep longer and longer. And, now he is even able, sometimes, to fall alseep on his own!
Elizabeth Pantley is a God send! She has children of her own (4) and has actually used these techniques on her own baby. This book is the top of my list for a gift for any new Mom. I wish someone would have told me of this book 7 months ago.
Thank you Elizabeth! You have changed my life!
on 17 February 2005
My husband and I both work full time. Our son is overall a well rounded baby (personality not body shape). Yes he's fussy, demanding, extremely active (and I do mean extremely), but he's also happy; laughing and smiling all the time. Right now, he wants to be held all the time and some days he's clingy and some days he's not. Bedtime was such a battle. He was fussy, squirmy and pretty much fought his sleep each time I put him down. It would take about an hour to get him to sleep just to wake up again 2 hours later.
1-2 weeks after reading the book, my 8 mos old, who sleep-shared with my husband and I since he was born, started to learn to fall asleep on his own without needing a bottle or to be nursed. The bedtime routine we established (that didn't work before) is now working through the help of the No Cry Sleep Solution book. It was wonderful to put him down still awake and watch him fall asleep without a fight.
3-4 weeks after reading the book, I was able to wean the night feedings.
5-6 weeks after reading the book, I worked on getting him to sleep in his crib. Doing what the book recommended, I set up his environment to what he was used to in our bed. I put him in....and to my surprise, HE DID NOT FIGHT ME. I watched him fall asleep (which was all of 2 minutes) and he stayed asleep all through the night. On weekends, he would wake up in the morning and just sit in his crib and play with his toys. I know because I can hear him playing and the toy jingling through the monitor. Sure he wakes up sometime during the night, but with only a short whimper and he's back asleep even before I walk out of my bedroom (and I am a snap to it mommy...I don't spare a second to go to my baby when he cries).
So many people around us thought for sure we were going to have a hard time getting him to sleep in his crib. We have been finger-wagged so many times from friends and family and kept telling us how we should let him cry it out. When my mother-in-law babysat for us a few nights after my son started sleeping in his crib, she couldn't believe how he went to sleep without a fuss and without a peep. She said she put him in and he was so wide awake and just kept looking around she just kissed him goodnight and walked away. She checked up on him 3 minutes later because she didn't hear a peep from him, and she found that he was already asleep.
I LOVE THIS BOOK. Mostly because it made sense from the first page to the last, and also because it gave me assurance that me not letting my baby cry himself to sleep is better than the cold cry it out method. Also, sleep-sharing had more rewards short and long term than putting a baby in his own cold crib at 3 months.
I am so proud of my son, husband and myself for PROVING EVERYONE WRONG!
on 17 October 2007
I can not recommend this book highly enough. It is an absolute must have for anyone who is exhausted but can not tolerate the idea of letting their baby 'cry it out'. Whilst some of the reviews here call it uninspiring - it is if you want a quick fix solution (such as control crying which may seem to work but at what cost to your baby!) as it may take a little time to evaluate where you are going wrong. Having said that I had already been giving the matter a great deal of thought (as you can imagine!) and so could put the ideas into practice straight away and I did get immediate positive results.
The very same night my baby slept better largely because I made certain that she got good naps throughout the day and put her in bed much earlier than I normally would. Since then I have seen a series of continual improvements and am now happy to report she is a good sleeper who LOVES to go in her cot at night and rarely wakes. This is less than 10 days after buying the book.
This book is common sense parenting.
If we had the luxury of time and a brain that wasn't addled with lack of sleep it is what we would be doing instinctively. Rather than taking the drastic (and in my opinion DANGEROUS) approach of letting your baby bawl its eyes out and feel desperately upset going to sleep, it gently helps you to expand your babies comfort zone so that he/she never enters a state of panic. It is possible to immediately see results if you are willing to accept that your baby is crying for a reason and work hard to find that reason, using the suggestions in the book.
I was told by my Heath Visitor that 'I MUST let my baby cry it out'. This angered me as I'm not the sort of person who likes being told what I must and must not do by someone who lacks imagination and doesn't know me, my baby or my situation! Also I believe babies cry - for a reason! Sure sometimes that reason is that they want attention, but why do they want it, address that and you address the problem.
My baby suffers with reflux an excess of stomach acid that builds during the day and in her case sometimes causes her discomfort and even vomiting at night which made the problem of sleeping/upset much worse. Had I been the type of person to just accept the status quo I would have followed my HV's advice and let her vomit and carry on control crying. WHAT???
If something goes against your instincts as a parent to that extent how can it possibly be right?
Instead I looked for my own solutions to help with the stomach problems and then just needed to work through the sleep problems - with Pantley's help!
I look at it this way - how easily can you get to sleep when you are upset, overtired, hungry, sore, ill, lonely??? Why expect your baby to be able to cope with things that you can't as an adult?
Instead learn to recognise what your child is trying to tell you and then deal with it.
Many of the ideas in this ring true - why? because it has been written by a mother who followed her instincts and found out what works and what doesn't. Sure she may not have a formal qualification as one of the other reviewers states (erm - who has a formal qualification in child sleep?) but as a mother of four she is more than qualified as far as I am concerned.
Whats more the book gives you the confidence that you are doing the right thing by not going down the CC route, and enables you to stick to your guns and tell other control crying advocates why that is a bad solution, quoting Pantley's research :-).
For those that want to follow a defined process and step by step guide it gives you that, for others like myself who have already thought this through you may flick through the pages and suddenly happen upon the solution that's right for you - a lightbulb moment when you think to yourself why on earth hadn't I realised/tried that before - because you're too tired that's why!
I am urging every parent, health care worker, baby formus etc I can to buy this book as I really do believe it is the foundation for good parenting.
I will also be buying all of Pantley's other books to make sure I make fewer mistakes in the future.
One last piece of advice - if you are going to try a new routine for your baby, do it bit by bit to access what is having a positive impact and so as not to panic your child. And, to give you the energy you need to try something new, let someone else bear the brunt of looking after your little one for a few hours night so you can re-charge your batteries. Don't worry if this is not possible as its not a pre-requisite for success, it just helps.
Good luck and remember the easiest solution is not always the best. Muster up what patience and energy you have left and read the book, if read and used correctly it will help you to change things for the better, I promise.
on 17 May 2007
I bought this book thinking it might solve our son's erratic sleeping habit but I was quite dissapointed. On the plus side, the layout of information is accessible, but it is written from a viewpoint that I consider too subjective. None of the research cited is referenced, which leads me too doubt its value. Many of the ideas are common sense, and don't really add much to what is already known about infant sleep.
I have read about 10 books about sleep, and the *only* one I would recommend is Marc Weissbluth, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child - an excellent, detailed read from an expert in this field.