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on 26 June 2017
This book was very helpful. I have been working through it with a friend who has also been widowed and it is useful to us both. We meet at monthly intervals having done the exercises recommended and whilst it has been hard it has helped.
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on 23 February 2016
Last year I suffered a bereavement and have had a few bad days since. I was looking for a self-help book and based on the reviews here thought I’d give this a go. I’m afraid to say it didn’t work for me.

First, there’s the tone which I found a bit simplistic and patronising. It’s also very much geared towards the US market. The book is repetitive, going over the same material again and again. It is highly critical of distractions from grief, for example (on p. 34) telling you to keep-busy or later to avoid fantasy films/books as a way of escaping. Obviously you can’t avoid your grief indefinitely – but equally, I feel you are entitled to moments of relief. If that means escaping for a couple of hours in a film, that’s fine. And what’s the alternative to keeping busy? Doing nothing and just collapsing into a slump? I found the book was too blunt, suggesting you should avoid such things altogether rather than allowing yourself some respite while making sure they don’t become a crutch.

I didn’t find the whole drawing a loss history graph helpful. Again, it might work for some people but my brain didn’t respond to it at all. I kept thinking of that Robin Williams line in ‘Dead Poets Society’ (where the text book tries to gauge the quality of a poem by means of a graph): it’s poetry, you’re not laying pipe! Similarly with the ‘Grief Recovery book’. Grief is a complex emotion. For lots of people, drawing a graph will be an exercise in pointlessness. If anyone is familiar with Myers-Briggs, I’d guess the writers of the book are very much S-type personalities. Everything is about systems; there’s little room for intuition or instinctively feeling you way through the emotion of grief. If you want further proof of this, on p.130 it tells you the exact measurements of the paper you need to deal with grief: 8 ½” x 11”. Clearly their system doesn’t work, nor can grief be ameliorated, if you’re using paper of other sizes.

By this point I was getting angry! Which brings me on to my biggest criticism of the book. Towards the end it states how its trademarked recovery system works for everyone and – crucially – if you’re not feeling better it is something to do with you. You are failing in moving on from your grief because you have not understood or used the book properly. I felt this was a very ill-judged attitude to take, especially to people who may already be fragile because of a loss.

The above is obviously only my personal opinion. Clearly for other readers it has worked and I’m glad they have found comfort in these pages. But I wanted to be a voice of dissent and say this rather dogmatic book might not be for everyone. I certainly got no help from it. Doubtless devotees of the system will shoot me down which (if it happens) will be revealing in itself. Buy the book and make up your own mind, but if you’re feeling vulnerable after a loss, please be careful.
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on 22 January 2014
This book is compelling reading, it is not as dark as you would expect but it does encourage you to explore and unpick your thought processes. The fact that it covers the entire spectrum of loss and not totally focuses on death makes it an invaluable resource which I will be revisiting.
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on 6 June 2017
Going through a hard time after my father dying, but this is helping me in trying to understand . Good book .
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on 14 September 2013
This book was recommended and is exactly what I wanted. I bought copies for other people too.
I was able to work from it immediately.
It was easy to get straight into it.
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on 12 August 2014
I liked the simplicity of the method outlined in the book, and I have begun implementing the actions. However, now and again some of the terminology jarred a bit, particularly when the book talks about 'positive' and 'negative' emotions.
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on 14 April 2017
Really good book, very sensible and practical approach to moving forward after a loss.
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on 5 August 2017
Excellent product and service
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on 15 May 2017
Great for my work.
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on 22 June 2013
This book was a revelation to me, I have been dealing with some complicate grief issues over the past ten years which have affected my health. This book has started to help me make sense of things. The authors write with such compassion and empathy which makes you feel that you are not alone and that having these feelings is natural and normal. The book is structured into a process for you to work through in order to complete the grieving process. They say that grief gets stuck if you wish things had been different, better or more in terms of your relationship with the other person or the way that they died, they provide really helpful strategies to come to terms with it all and move forward. The book is also helpful for those dealing with divorce, loss of career, loss of health etc.
I haven't finished all of the exercises yet but I am nearly there and am already starting to feel changes within myself. I would recommend this book to anyone that is dealing with a loss of any kind.
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