Very interesting read. It was suggested by my therapist. I would suggest keeping a journal or notebook next to you while you read this book. It is very heavy on exercise and writing down ideas. This has helped me re-enforce new ideas.
“Boundaries: How to draw the line in your Head, Heart and Home” is a book that everyone who questions and seeks to improve their relationships with others, should read. It gets to the heart of understanding why people are drawn to different behaviour patterns within the same situation. The first part of the book enables the reader to recognize their own patterns of behaviour and establish their personal boundaries before they seek to remedy or improve their interactions with others. It then goes on to show the reader how to use this knowledge to develop strategies to turn negative situations into positive ones in all areas of their lives. Anyone who has read books like “Staying OK” will be familiar with the theory of transactional analysis which is behind the tools provided in this book. “Boundaries” bridges the gap between a formal psychotherapy textbook and reading for pleasure. Victoria Lambert and Jennie Miller have a unique talent for writing and sharing their knowledge in a way which will make this book easy to read and to understand for a wide range of people. The aim of this book is to enable the reader to find their personal boundaries and take back control of their lives. It succeeds.
I sincerely hope that nobody will require help with all the various quandries catered for in this guide, there is certainly something for everyone, though. Dealing with one's own interior feelings, then those that erupt in the workplace, plus the more sensitive areas of love and intimacy, and finally living more comfortably with family and friends. It is absolutely bang up to date and considers the etiquette of emails, social media etc and how to keep things under control. Completing some of the exercises can really open up your thinking as to the importance you place on certain relationships and others who drain you, or are detrimental.
I have learned things from the chapters on the Drama Triangle - are you a Persecutor, Rescuer, or Victim. hard to analyse correctly, I reckon we mostly see ourselves as Rescuer whereas others may have a different view...Fascinating too to read about - The Parent/Child voices, Self Soothing, Stroking with words, Blended Families...
I will dip in and out of this as problems arise, I can really understand where the advice is coming from, it's simple psychiatry.
An easy guide to drawing the line and looking after yourself and your relationships at home and at work. Looking after our mental well being is something that we all need to a certain degree and this is a simple guide to working out triggers and ways we can get steamrollered into not looking after ourselves or standing up for ourselves as well as we should. We can all find ourselves in this book and there's great tips to help your life run more smoothly.
Can you say no? I struggle sometimes....so this book has proved to be a very good read. It espouses the approach of being able to set boundaries....essential for self protection, and growth. It's not about being selfish, but more about being able to recognise how to be your best and give your best. The book is what I call an 'active' book - nothing passive here - you have to read, and actively engage.....do the exercises, do the thinking, make the changes, do the work. I'm slowly beginning to recognise a new me emerging....saying 'no' is scary...but I'm afraid it is essential in our modern world.
It is written well,packed full of case studies and examples, and ultimately will help and support if you need it.
This is the only book I have that looks a person's well being. I like the wide coverage, sleep, eating habits, exercise, social media, office romance, workplace culture, children, siblings and many more. I have struggled with saying know all my life so I have done things for people just because I did not know how to turn them down without causing offence. Needless to say, most of these turned me into an abused person. Yet other times I have said 'no' in ways I regretted afterwards due to poor choice of words. This book has offered me some guidelines on how best to handle situations in which I have to turn someone down.
Very good book for setting boundaries in many conceivable situations: sleep, exercise, dieting ... The Persecutor - Rescuer - Victim is a very good template to use in various situations. I am not sure I have played Persecutor (knowingly) before but others may disagree with me.