I was born at a very early age and decided straight away I was going to grow up. And that is exactly what I did, I got bigger.
One day I went to school. The next day I had to go again and I had to continue for many years in order to keep the teachers in a job. They soon learnt I was hopeless at counting and awful at speling. But at least I learnt the 3 Rs – rite and rong.
I have a castle in Scotland and a medium sized island near Australia and I have a pet leopard and three monkeys. I also have the bad habit of telling boastful fibs.
People often ask me what’s the secret of my success. I’ll tell you: it’s a secret.