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Two and a Half Men

(150)7.1200412 SeasonsSuitable with Parental GuidanceSubtitles and Closed Captions

Commercial jingle writer Charlie Harper (series star CHARLIE SHEEN) is a wealthy bachelor with a house at the beach, a Jaguar in the garage and an easy way with women. But his Malibu lifestyle is interrupted when his uptight chiropractor brother, Alan (series star JON CRYER), arrives unexpectedly with Alan's 10-year-old son, Jake (series star ANGUS T. JONES).

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1. Pilot

Commercial jingle writer Charlie Harper is wealthy bachelor with house at beach, Jaguar in garage & easy way with women. But his Malibu lifestyle is interrupted when his uptight chiropractor brother, arrives unexpectedly with Alan's 10-year-old son, Jake.

Suitable with Parental GuidanceSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 22 minutes Release date: 1 January 2003
Buy Episode 1 HD £2.99
2. Big Flappy Bastards

Unsure how to properly discipline Jake, Charlie ignores him after child "forgets" to stop feeding seagulls & leaves door open. As result, the gaggle of birds enters house. Meanwhile, Alan gets surprise from Judith when he goes home to fix her sprinklers.

Suitable with Parental GuidanceSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: 1 January 2003
Buy Episode 2 HD £2.99
3. Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

When Alan's attempt to provide Jake with a fun-filled father /son weekend backfires, Charlie tries to console his brother by taking him to a local bar and getting Alan totally inebriated.

Suitable for ages 12 and overSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: 1 January 2003
Buy Episode 3 HD £2.99
4. If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

Charlie's longtime cleaning lady, Berta, quits her job, and Charlie quickly realizes he can't function without her. When Alan tries to take Berta's place but doesn't succeed, Charlie sends him to lure her back.

Suitable for ages 12 and overSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: 1 January 2003
Buy Episode 4 HD £2.99
5. Last Thing You Want is to Wind Up with a Hump

After drunken night in Las Vegas, Charlie reluctantly attends 1 of Jake's soccer games. But Alan & Charlie soon discover advantages of going to these matches. Players' mothers are quite attractive, & Charlie makes date with particularly sexy soccer mom.

Suitable with Parental GuidanceSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 18 minutes Release date: 1 January 2003
Buy Episode 5 HD £2.99
6. Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

Charlie rethinks the way he treats women when he, Alan and Jake are forced to cheer up a pitiful Evelyn after her serious new boyfriend terminates their relationship. Meanwhile, Charlie teaches Jake some valuable lessons about screening calls from women.

Suitable with Parental GuidanceSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 20 minutes Release date: 1 January 2003
Buy Episode 6 HD £2.99
7. If They Do Go Either Way They're Usually Fake

Charlie's beautiful friend Cindy frequently showers at Charlie's house after surfing. When Jake sees a butterfly tattoo on Cindy's partially nude behind and later draws a picture of it in his classroom, Judith gets angry and goes to talk with Alan.

Suitable for ages 12 and overSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: 1 January 2003
Buy Episode 7 HD £2.99
8. Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

When Alan & Judith argue during a rehearsal of a play that Jake & his classmates are rehearsing, Charlie is forced to handle a roomful of fourth graders alone. The kids think Charlie is a loser until they realize he wrote the "Maple Loops" cereal jingle.

Suitable for ages 12 and overSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 19 minutes Release date: 1 January 2003
Buy Episode 8 HD £2.99
9. Phase One, Complete

Charlie likes his sweet new girlfriend, Wendy, but he becomes concerned when Jake forms a strong friendship with her. When Wendy charms Evelyn as well, Charlie worries that Wendy is expecting more from the relationship than he is and ends it.

Suitable with Parental GuidanceSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: 1 January 2003
Buy Episode 9 HD £2.99
10. Merry Thanksgiving

When Charlie finds out that his favorite former girlfriend, Lisa, is getting married, he desperately tries to prove to her that he has become a better family man than her fiancé, despite his inability to commit to her.

Suitable with Parental GuidanceSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: 1 January 2003
Buy Episode 10 HD £2.99
11. Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

Charlie and Jake convince Alan to get a makeover when it appears Judith is moving forward since the breakup, sporting a new hairdo and new date. Alan realizes he may truly be in need of a change when his own son tells him he doesn't look cool.

Suitable with Parental GuidanceSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 20 minutes Release date: 1 January 2003
Buy Episode 11 HD £2.99
12. Camel Filters and Pheremones

When Charlie's cleaning woman, Berta, brings her sexy and rebellious 16- year-old daughter, Prudence, to Charlie's house, Jake develops a childish infatuation with her--and Charlie and Alan try to restrain their interest in the flirtatious minor as well.

Suitable with Parental GuidanceSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 20 minutes Release date: 1 January 2004
Buy Episode 12 HD £2.99
13. Sarah Like Puny Alan

Alan worries that Charlie will become infected with Jake's contagious cold; however, Alan gets sick instead. Jake heals, and Charlie is fine. Desperate to get a date with a sexy woman, Charlie volunteers a very reluctant Alan to escort the woman's...

Suitable with Parental GuidanceSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 20 minutes Release date: 1 January 2004
Buy Episode 13 HD £2.99
14. I Can't Afford Hyenas

When Charlie learns that his credit rating is ruined & his debts are all overdue, he discovers that his accountant, Stan, is completely inept. At Alan's urging, Charlie tries to reduce his spending habits, but he has difficult time giving up his luxuries.

Suitable with Parental GuidanceSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 20 minutes Release date: 1 January 2004
Buy Episode 14 HD £2.99
15. Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

Charlie and Alan find Frankie (recurring guest star JENNA ELFMAN - "Dharma & Greg," "Looney Tunes: Back in Action") a sexy but seemingly crazy woman, hitting a car with a baseball bat. Despite Alan's warnings, Charlie becomes totally infatuated with her.

Suitable with Parental GuidanceSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: 1 January 2004
Buy Episode 15 HD £2.99
16. That Was Saliva, Alan

Frankie, the beautiful and intriguing lady whom Charlie and Alan brought home after finding her bashing her therapist's car with a baseball bat, explains why she's in hiding with her 8-year-old daughter, Joanie.

Suitable for ages 12 and overSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: 1 January 2004
Buy Episode 16 HD £2.99
17. Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

Alan offends Charlie by choosing their crazy cousins as Jake's guardians if he & Judith were to die. Later, Alan does some errands & leaves Jake with Charlie, who's still sulking over Alan's will. As the two play basketball, Jake falls, hitting his head.

Suitable with Parental GuidanceSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 20 minutes Release date: 1 January 2004
Buy Episode 17 HD £2.99
18. An Old Flame With a New Wick

Charlie agrees to meet with a former girlfriend who ended their relationship years earlier, leaving Charlie devastated. But Charlie's in for a huge surprise when he discovers that she is now a he, and he, Bill, wants to be Charlie's friend.

Suitable for ages 12 and overSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: 1 January 2004
Buy Episode 18 HD £2.99
19. I Remember the Coat Room, I Just Don't Remember You

Judith's sinister-but-sexy sister, Liz, plans to attend Jake's 11th birthday party. Alan asks Charlie--who had sex with Liz in the coatroom at Judith and Alan's wedding--to behave. But when Liz arrives, she ignores Charlie and flirts with Alan instead.

Suitable with Parental GuidanceSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 19 minutes Release date: 1 January 2004
Buy Episode 19 HD £2.99
20. Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

Jake becomes brooding musician when he continuously plays "Smoke on the Water" on his guitar with ever- present grumpy attitude. In order to cheer him up, Alan tries father/son chat, Charlie offers jam session & Berta just thinks the kid is constipated.

Suitable with Parental GuidanceSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: 1 January 2004
Buy Episode 20 HD £2.99
21. No Sniffing, No Wowing

Alan takes Charlie to meet with his sexy and determined divorce attorney, Laura (HEATHER LOCKLEAR - "Spin City," "Melrose Place"), after Judith expresses concern that Charlie is a bad influence on Jake. Charlie and Laura begin a sexual relationship.

Suitable for ages 12 and overSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: 1 January 2004
Buy Episode 21 HD £2.99
22. My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

Alan succumbs to Judith's demand that they take Jake to therapy every week because "it's what all the other divorced parents are doing," but he doesn't realize that he, too, is having issues with sleepwalking.

Suitable for ages 12 and overSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 20 minutes Release date: 1 January 2004
Buy Episode 22 HD £2.99
23. Just Like Buffalo

When Jake imitates one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women decide that Charlie's home is an unfit environment for the child. With the women's approval, Judith agrees to let Alan see Jake on weekends...

Suitable with Parental GuidanceSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: 1 January 2004
Buy Episode 23 HD £2.99
24. Can You Feel My Finger?

One of Charlie's many women fears she's pregnant, and Charlie is relieved when the lady finds out she's not. When Alan realizes that this is not Charlie's first pregnancy scare, he suggests a permanent solution for Charlie--a vasectomy.

Suitable for ages 15 and overSubtitles and Closed Captions Language: English Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: 1 January 2004
Buy Episode 24 HD £2.99

Cast and Crew

Jon Cryer

Angus T. Jones

Conchata Ferrell


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